Chapter 39 (8/5/16)

A bonus post for the weekend!  If you didn't catch the post that I put up late last night, don't miss it!

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Jesse decided that he’d like to keep seeing me, even if I wasn’t ready to commit.  I made it very clear to him that I didn’t anticipate being ready to settle down in the near future, and he insisted that he understood and wasn’t continuing to see me just because he was hoping I’d change my mind soon.  “I’ve just really enjoyed spending time with you,” he said simply.  “I’d like to continue that.”

Being clear in what I was (or really, wasn’t) looking for helped me feel better about continuing to see him.  I also enjoyed spending time with him, but I didn’t want him holding out hope for something that may not ever happen.  Once he assured me that wasn’t the case, I decided to go ahead and keep seeing him.

So I spent the next couple weeks seeing both Ryan and Jesse.  They were very different and each fulfilled something for me that the other simply couldn’t or wouldn’t.  “Can I just date both of them forever?” I asked Erica and Kelly during what had become our weekly dinner together. 

“At some point, one of them would not be okay with that anymore,” Erica said, shaking her head. 

Kelly shrugged.  “You don’t know that.  Maybe they would be totally okay with it!” Then she frowned slightly and asked me, “Does Ryan know you’re seeing Jesse?”

“I have no idea, probably not?” I guessed.  “He’s never asked, I’ve never shared, and I can’t see why he’d care even a little bit.”

“Is Ryan seeing other people?” Erica pressed.

I held up my hands.  “I don’t know, maybe not.  He’s awfully busy even when he’s home, so unless he has a rotation of fuck buddies, I don’t know how he’d manage it.”

“Would you care if he did?” Erica asked curiously.

I considered this.  “No, but I think our situation is better if we just don’t know what the other person is up to.”  Erica looked skeptical, but I shrugged.  “Honestly, I find it hard to believe he’s not off getting laid when he’s working in Europe and Canada and wherever else he goes.  I’d be shocked if he wasn’t.  It’s not a big deal as long as he’s not being an idiot about it, and he’s militant about using condoms so I would think that’s the case elsewhere too.” 

“That’s maybe not the safest assumption to make,” Kelly pointed out matter-of-factly.

I nodded.  “You’re right, I should probably make an appointment and get tested just in case.  That’s not a bad idea in general.”  I’d gotten tested after my divorce (three times, because they wanted me to come back in a month and three months for HIV testing since there was no telling what Kevin may have exposed me to) but I hadn’t gotten tested again since and now that I had been having sex with a few different guys, I needed to get on that.  It wasn’t sexy, but it was the reality of having casual sex. 

Nate’s birthday party approached quickly.  I had decided to go, and was taking Ryan up on his offer to go with me.  I wasn’t exactly sure why.  Erica was convinced that I just wanted to make Kevin jealous if he was there, but that wasn’t even it.  I think it was more of just having someone there that I knew would have my back.  I did wonder what Kevin would think, though, especially after he saw Ryan pick me up that one night when we’d unceremoniously run into him downtown.

I had seen Grace, Emma, and the rest of them a couple times prior to this.  Charlie hadn’t warmed up to me at all, but he did eventually stop giving me dirty looks and more just ignored me completely.  I was fine with that.  Emma had apologized for his behavior a number of times, but I really didn’t care that much. 

On the day of the party, I was nervous as hell.  I texted pictures of no fewer than a dozen outfit options to Kelly and Erica, and by the time I’d chosen, I needed to take another shower because I was sweaty from changing over and over.  I was pleased with my final decision though, and I went all out with my hair and makeup (being careful not to overdo it, though).

“Damn!” Ryan said appreciatively when I opened my front door for him.  I was glad my efforts were not for naught. 

“How do I look?” I asked, twirling in my short sundress.

Ryan let out a low whistle, then smirked and said, “Like a woman who wants to show her ex-husband how much better off she is without him.  I’m reading your message loud and clear, sweetheart.”  I rolled my eyes and started to turn to grab my purse, but he caught me by the wrist and pulled me towards him.  He leaned down and kissed me, then trailed kisses along my jaw to my neck and up to my ear.  “Seriously, you look sexy as hell and I’m rethinking our plan.  Let’s stay here so I can fuck you senseless with that hot little dress on.”  His hand crept up my leg, and I shivered as he dragged his thumb up my inner thigh.

“Or,” I said, looping my arms around his neck as his hand continued to inch higher, “we could fool around a little now, go to the party, and it’ll be that much hotter when we have sex later.” 

“I’ll take what I can get,” he replied, slipping his hand beneath my thong and finding my clit.  I groaned and leaned against him as he slowly worked two fingers inside me with his thumb still pressed against me.  I pressed my forehead against his shoulder and gripped his arms as his fingers moved faster.  He started to withdraw them, saying, “Let’s go lay on the couch,” but I grabbed his forearm and shook my head.

“No, don’t stop,” I gasped, and he didn’t.  I came shortly after, my fingers digging into his triceps as I fought to stay on my feet.

“Well, that was almost too easy,” Ryan said, picking me up.  I wrapped my legs around his back as he walked with me to the couch and sat down.  I reached between us as we kissed, stroking him through his shorts.  He groaned against my mouth and I didn’t waste any more time.  I shimmied out of his lap and onto my knees on the floor in front of him, unbuttoning and unzipping his pants as I did.  I gave him one of the best blowjobs I had performed in recent memory, considering it a thank you for him going with me.  Though he seemed like he was invested in the potential drama in the way that only a guy like Ryan could be.

“Well, holy shit.  I think I need a nap.  Or a cigarette,” Ryan said, leaning back against the couch and closing his eyes. 

“You don’t smoke, and there’s no time for a nap,” I pointed out.  Ryan didn’t respond, just pulled me up and into his lap.  “You are the weirdest friend with benefits I’ve ever had,” I told him, nonetheless snuggling into his chest to relax for a minute. 

“You said ‘weirdest’ but I think you mean ‘best’,” he replied groggily.   

I snorted.  “Let’s not getting carried away.”

He laughed and patted my hip.  “Alright then, let’s go before I really do end up taking a nap.”  I got up and offered him a hand.  He let me pull him to his feet, but not without checking me out again.  “You are smoking in that dress, seriously,” he said.  “I might not be able to keep my hands off you.”

“Try to behave, Ryan,” I told him, though I grinned when I turned away.  My dress was having its intended effect and we hadn’t even left the house.  It wasn’t even anything special, it just fit like it was custom made for me and cut to draw people’s eyes to all the right places. 

I grabbed my keys and started to head towards the garage but Ryan said, “I figured I could drive.  You’ll probably need to drink way more than I will.”  I turned and looked at him skeptically.  “What?  I have no ulterior motive, I’m just trying to be nice for once,” he protested. 

“That would be very nice, then,” I said. 

He shook his head.  “You’re paranoid, you know that?”  I glared at him and he just grinned and held his hand out to me.  I ignored it and walked past him, pulling open the front door and waiting for him to exit.  “I like when you’re irritated with me,” he said as he slipped past me.  I rolled my eyes and locked the door behind me. 

Once we got in the car, he turned and said, “You know I’m just teasing you, right?  I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings with the paranoid comment.  You’ve got good reason to be paranoid.”

“Yes, you idiot,” I replied.  “I know that.  You didn’t hurt my feelings, and you wouldn’t be you if you weren’t a jerk.  But thank you.”

He grinned.  “Just wanted to make sure!” 

Ryan’s windows had been half open when we got in, but before he put the big Mercedes SUV in reverse to back out of the driveway, he rolled them up and hit the button to the turn the air conditioning on.  “Your consideration for my hair is touching,” I teased him. 

“Hey, I don’t want to be responsible for anything that might put that carefully crafted look in jeopardy,” he replied with a smirk. 

I laughed and looked out the window as I gave Ryan directions.  I was getting nervous.  By the time we pulled up in front of Sam and Nate’s house, I was completely regretting my decision to do this.  “You know,” I said, looking around at the cars that were lining the street.  “Maybe we would be better off just going back to my place and skipping this.” 

Ryan put the car in park and turned to look at me.  I avoided his gaze.  “If that’s what you really want to do, we can do that,” he said.  When I didn’t say anything, he asked, “Jenna?  Is that what you want to do?”

I was about to say yes when Grace and her husband Justin walked past.  Grace did a double take when she saw the SUV and waved to me.  I had forgotten that Ryan had given Grace a ride to her car the night he picked me up.  She pulled Justin to a stop next to her, clearly waiting for us to get out.  “Your call, Jenna,” Ryan said softly.  “I’ll do whatever you want.”

Now that Grace had seen me I couldn’t chicken out.  I ran my fingers through my hair, squared my shoulders, and said, “We’re staying.”  Ryan gave me a grin and turned the car off.  I took a deep breath and opened my car door, ready to greet Grace and face the party.

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Chapter 38 (8/4/16)

Over the next week, I went out once with Jesse (we would have gone out more, but our schedules didn’t always mesh well) and saw Ryan twice.  I still hadn’t done anything more than kiss Jesse, but unlike with Dan (ugh, remember him?) it didn’t bother me.  It seemed right to let it happen when it happened, rather than pushing for it too soon. 

So when he invited me over on Saturday I wasn’t really expecting anything, but after making out on the couch for a little while, he asked, “Do you want to go to my room?”

“Yes,” I said without hesitating.  He stood and offered me a hand, pulling me to my feet and leading me to his room.  Once we were there, I suddenly got a little nervous for some reason.  Not in a bad way, just in a “first time having sex with someone I sort of like” way.

Jesse pushed push a piece of hair back from my face and wrapped his fingers around the back of my neck, pulling me gently in towards him.  His lips turned up into a slight smile just before they pressed against mine.  I wrapped my arms around his back and relaxed into his kiss, letting my body melt against his. 

Our sex was simple, sweet, and quite enjoyable.  I curled against him after, and he ran his fingers along my hairline, relaxing me even further.  I yawned and snuggled closer to him, enjoying his warmth in the central air-cooled room. 

“Do you want to spend the night?” he asked, his voice giving me no hint of how he was hoping I’d answer. 

“Do you want me to?” I asked in response.  “I’d like to, but if you’d prefer I went home, I’m completely okay with that.”  It was true.  I understood not wanting to do sleepovers.

His arms tightened around me and he said, “I want you to stay.”  So I did.

In the morning, we laid in bed for a long time before getting up and going to find brunch.  The first restaurant we tried had a 45 minute wait and I was quickly nearing hanger levels of hunger. 

Luckily, we were much more successful with the second place we choose, and we were soon settled at a table.  While we were waiting for our food, Jesse cleared his throat and said, “So, I’m not seeing anyone else.”

Caught off guard, I wasn’t able to think of anything to say besides, “Oh.”

He paused as if waiting for me to say more, and when I didn’t, he said, “And I don’t really want to see anyone else.”

“Oh,” I said again.  Jesse narrowed his eyes at me, and I knew I had to say something else.  “Um, I…” I started, but I stopped, lost for words.

“Are you seeing someone else?” he asked.  His voice was even, but he looked hurt.

“Well, kind of,” I said finally.  He looked down, and trying to fix it, I said, “You never said you wanted to be exclusive.”

He looked back up at me and shook his head.  “No, you’re right.  I’m telling you now, though.  And I guess I just thought…” he paused and rubbed his forehead, then stared over my shoulder for a couple seconds before continuing.  “I just thought we were really connecting, so I guess I kind of assumed you were feeling the same things I was feeling.”

I frowned, feeling supremely uncomfortable.  This was not a conversation I was even closed to prepared to be having right now.  And in public, at that!  “Jesse, I think we’re connecting too,” I said honestly.  “But I don’t know if I’m really ready to be exclusive yet.  With anyone,” I added hurriedly, seeing the crestfallen look on his face.  But it didn’t help.

“With anyone?” he asked.  “And just how many guys are you seeing?”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.  I was about to answer when our server came with our food.  Relieved for the temporary respite, I focused intently on her method of placing our plates in front of us.  Then I looked back up at him.  “That’s not what I meant.  I was just trying to say that it doesn’t have anything to do with you.  It’s just that I’m still trying to figure out exactly what I want, and I’m just not ready to make that jump.”

He looked like he wanted to say more but chose instead to pick up his fork and take a bite of his omelet.  I spent most of the meal staring at my plate.  I didn’t regret my refusal to move to exclusivity with Jesse, but I hated how hurt he seemed by it. 

After we ate, he paid the bill despite my offer to do so, and our ride back to his house was tense and quiet.  “I’m really sorry that I wasn’t more up front with you,” I said to him as he pulled into his apartment building’s parking lot.  “I really am enjoying getting to know you and I’d like to keep seeing you but I also understand if you don’t want to.”

“I’m not like your ex-husband,” he said, turning off the engine and pivoting in his seat to look at me.  “If that’s what you’re scared of.”

I frowned. “I’m not scared,” I said, shaking my head.  “I’m just not ready.”

“Look, I need a few days to wrap my head around all this,” Jesse said slowly.  “I’m not ruling anything out, because I really like you.  But this isn’t at all how I expected this conversation to go, so I just need to think about it all a little.”

“I understand,” I said.  I felt guilty but I wasn’t going to let my guilt rope me into saying or doing something I would regret or something that could just end up hurting Jesse more in the long run. 

Neither of us said anything for several long seconds, and then I got awkwardly out of the car.  I was glad I didn’t have anything to retrieve inside so I just headed towards my car.  “Hey,” Jesse said, stopping me.  I turned, looking at him curiously.  “Either way, I had a lot of fun last night.  And every other time we’ve hung out.”

I managed a smile and said, “Thanks, Jesse.  I’ve had a lot of fun too.”  I didn’t wait for him to say anything else, I just got in my car.  When I started it, he was letting himself into his building.  I drove off, surprised at how little residual guilt I felt doing so.

“So, this guy that you actually like wants to be your boyfriend and you said no because…why?” Rachael asked at lunch on Monday.  I had just told her about Jesse.

“Because I’m enjoying what I have going on right now,” I said defensively.  “I’m having amazing sex with Ryan and dating Jesse, and I enjoy both and can’t really choose one that I’d like to give up.”
            “You don’t get to just date one person and have sex with someone else forever, you know,” Rachael pointed out.

I narrowed my eyes at her.  “You’re the one that wanted me to hook up with Ryan in the first place!” I said.  My defenses were up and I wasn’t completely sure why.  I took a breath and attempted to be more reasonable.  “And I know that.  And I’m not expecting to do it forever.  But don’t you think I’d be ready to give up meaningless sex with Ryan if I was truly ready to just date Jesse?”

“Probably,” she admitted.  “Unless it’s really good as you say it is!”  The mischievous sparkle was back in her eyes and she was clearly looking for details.  I gave her just enough to satisfy her without giving her a play by play, and she seemed happy with that.  “You have two excellent men in your life, and I’m responsible for both of them,” she said with a self-satisfied grin.  “I think you should pay for lunch today!”

I snorted.  “Think again,” I said, shaking my head.  “While your matchmaking skills are excellent, I don’t think I owe you lunch until I’m engaged to someone you’ve brought into my life.”

“I didn’t realize that was the rule,” she said, rolling her eyes.  But she laughed, and we enjoyed the rest of our lunch together.

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Chapter 37 (8/1/16)

I hit the little phone icon next to his name, and Ryan picked up before the second ring even started.  “Hello, beautiful,” he answered smoothly.  “My place or yours?”

“You’re so confident that I want to see you,” I said.

“You wouldn’t have called if you didn’t,” he replied.  “You would have just texted back that you were busy.”

“How about you come here,” I suggested, ignoring that.  “I’ve been so lazy this weekend that I haven’t even gone out to get yesterday’s mail.  I don’t really feel like changing that now.”

“Oh, just what I want: sex with a lazy person!” he teased me.  “I’ll come over, but if I get there and you tell me you’re too lazy to have sex, I’m leaving.”

“I’m never too lazy for sex,” I assured him.  “You get yourself here and I’ll find some energy for you.”

My favorite thing about my friendship (and the associated benefits) with Ryan was that I didn’t have to get dressed up for him or put on makeup.  The shorts and tank top I was wearing was fine.  They wouldn’t be on for long once he got here anyway.  It was so easy and uncomplicated. 

Ryan knocked on my door about 45 minutes later, and I unlocked it and pulled it open.  “Here you go,” he said, handing me a couple envelopes.

“What is this?”

“Your mail, genius.  You said you hadn’t gone out for it, so I grabbed it on my way in.”  He flashed me a grin and slipped past me into the house.

“One of these days I’m going to tell someone you’re actually a nice guy and ruin your reputation,” I said, leaning against the wall and looking through the mail in my hand.  I followed Ryan into the kitchen, where he was getting himself a glass of water.  “That’s fine, make yourself at home,” I said.

“Well I wouldn’t have to if you weren’t such a terrible hostess,” he retorted.

I didn’t respond because I had gotten to a square envelope with Sam and Nate’s return address.  I snorted when I saw it was addressed to “Jenna Hoffman and Guest”.  I was impressed she had used my maiden name, at least.  I’d changed it back after the divorce, but a lot of people still called me Jenna Olsen.  I assumed this was the invitation to Nate’s birthday party that Sam had mentioned.

“What’s funny over there?” Ryan asked, coming over to me.  He stood behind me and wrapped one arm around my waist while he pushed my hair over one shoulder with his other hand.  He didn’t wait for me to answer, just started kissing my neck and shoulder.

“This invitation for this party is addressed to me and a guest,” I replied, leaning back into him while he worked his mouth from just behind my ear all the way down to my shoulder.  “It’s cute that she thinks I have a guest to bring.”

“I’m offended,” Ryan said indignantly, pausing his seduction. 

I laughed.  “You want to go with me?  To a birthday party that my ex-husband will be at?”

“Well if I didn’t before, I definitely do now!  Meet the infamous cheating ex-husband?  Why would I pass that up?”  He leaned forward a little and plucked the invitation out of my hand.  “Nate’s turning 33, huh?  Good for Nate.  I hope to do the same myself this year.”

“You’re ridiculous,” I said, shaking my head.

“And your ex will be there?  What’s his name?  Kevin?”

I sighed. “Yes, probably.”

“His name is probably Kevin?”  I glared at him and he grinned.  “I’m totally in.  Unless you don’t want to be seen in public with me.”

“Feeling antagonistic today?” I asked, taking the invitation back from him. 

“Today?  Always,” he said, chuckling.  “And I happen to know how much it sucks to go to a social event where your ex will also be.  So if you wanted to bring a date, I’d be happy to do the honors.”

“Can I think about it?” I asked.  “No offense, I just need to decide if it will be better to go alone or not.  I still feel like I have to tread carefully here.  I mean, I’m not even sure I want to go myself.” 

“I understand,” he said.  “Just let me know, I’m pretty sure I’m still home then and not traveling.”  He dropped his mouth back to my shoulder, took the invitation out of my hand, and set it on the counter.  One hand came up and drew my tank top and bra strap over my shoulder, his mouth following closely behind.  I groaned softly as he gently nipped at my exposed skin, then lightly sucked at the same spot.  “Turn around,” he said quietly in my ear, nibbling at my ear lobe.  I did as he requested and he lifted me up onto the counter. 

Ryan pushed my knees apart and then pulled me by my thighs until my butt was at the edge of the counter and I was pressed up against him.  I automatically wrapped my legs around his back and leaned down to kiss him.  It was weird being eye level with someone I was kissing, but I liked it. I worked my hands into his hair, which had grown out a little over the last month.  He tipped my head up and began kissing my throat and then along my collarbone.  I sighed and tightened my grip on his hair.  “Do you want to go upstairs?” I asked hopefully.

“Nope,” he said, kissing down my chest until he got to the low neckline of my tank top.  He kissed along it and then said, “I’m going to fuck you right here on this counter.”  His words sent a shiver up my spine and he laughed softly at the goosebumps that rose along my skin.  “No objections then?” he asked, his hands wandering under my tank top and pulling my bra away from my skin.

“No,” I breathed, gasping as he rolled one of my nipples between his fingers.  “Mmm, no objections.”

“Good,” he replied, his breath warm against my chest.  He tugged my tank top up and over my head, then easily unhooked and discarded my bra.  I braced myself on one hand as he sucked one of my nipples between his lips.  My other hand gripped the back of his neck, holding his head where it was as my legs locked behind his back.  He gave the other side some attention and then gently eased me back so I was laying across the island.  He quickly slid my shorts over my hips and tossed them to the side and knelt in front of me.  I moaned as his tongue searched out a sensitive spot while his hands supported my hips so I didn’t slip off the counter. 

He stopped just short of my orgasm and I growled in frustration as he stood and quickly got rid of his shirt and shorts.  “You’ll be fine,” he said, chuckling.  He pulled me into a sitting position and readjusted my hips on the counter, then guided himself into me.  I moaned again against his lips as he ground his hips against mine.  I’d never had sex at this angle before and he was hitting all the right spots.  It didn’t take long for me to drop my head to shoulder and grip his arms tightly as I came, and he didn’t even slow down.  I was breathless and moaning against his neck as he held my hips still and thrust into me.

Finally, he began to slow until he was barely moving.  Then he pulled out of me and lifted me off the counter.  “Turn around,” he said, repeating his words from earlier.  I turned to face the counter and he put one hand between my shoulder blades and pushed down gently.  I bent over the counter and leaned my face against its cool surface while he looped one arm under my leg and pulled it up to rest, bent, on the counter and he pushed hard back into me.  I grabbed the other side of the island to steady myself as he thrust into me.  I came again when he reached around my hips and began moving his fingers against me in time with his thrusts.  Luckily he came shortly after, just before my legs gave out.  Ryan easily steadied me with an arm around my waist until I could stand again.

“We’ve defiled my kitchen,” I said, bending to pick up my clothes, which were scattered around the kitchen.  Ryan’s, on the other hand, were in a neat pile a couple feet away.  “Why do my clothes always end up everywhere while yours end up in a convenient little pile at your feet?” I asked.

“Because I love watching you bend over to pick them all up,” he said, smacking my bare ass as I retrieved my tank top from near the garbage can. 

“You are such a fucking perv,” I grumbled, straightening with my shorts in hand. 

“I know, isn’t it great?” he asked.  He was leaning against the counter, still completely naked, watching me gather my clothes.  I marveled for a second at how completely comfortable I was wandering around my kitchen naked in front of him.  I was never even this comfortable naked with Kevin when I actually liked him.  I wriggled back into my shorts and pulled my tank top on, skipping the bra. 

“Put some clothes on,” I told him, rolling my eyes.

“Why?  What are you up to the rest of the day? Are you kicking me out already?”

I looked up and shrugged.  “I mean, I was planning to just be lazy the rest of the day.  If you wanted to join me in my sloth, I wouldn’t say no.”

“What are the chances of more sex later if I stick around?” he asked, stretching lazily and smirking at me.

“Slim to none with an attitude like that,” I told him.

“Have I ever told you how much I love when you get sassy?” he asked, finally bending and pulling on his shorts.  He picked up his shirt but made no move to put it on. 

“Yes,” I replied, grabbing a glass and getting some water.  Then without waiting for Ryan, I turned and walked into the living room.  

We ended up laying on the couch together watching documentaries on Netflix for the next 4 hours.  During the last hour we were watching, I surprised neither of us when I rolled over to face him and kissed him several times.  We’d make out for a little while and then I’d turn back to the TV.  Each time I turned away from him again I could feel him growing harder against my hips.  By the 4^th time, he was aggressively nipping at my neck.

“Impatient?” I asked, gasping as he bit down hard near the outside of my shoulder.  “Mmm,” I groaned as his teeth dragged across my skin. 

“I want to fuck you senseless,” he growled in my ear.  I laughed and moved my hips against his, making him groan and nip at my earlobe. 

“You’re awfully aggressive,” I teased him, still grinding my hips slowly against his.  “I should make you say please.  I could make you beg for it.”

“I think you’re the one that’s going to be begging for it,” he countered, sliding his hand up my shirt.  His fingers found a nipple and he circled it lightly before gripping it between his finger and thumb and tugging and rolling and gently twisting it until I moaned. 

“No way,” I gasped, working my hips harder against him.  “No begging here.” 

Rebuffed, he changed his approach, moving his hand from my chest, down my stomach, and slipping it inside my shorts.  He ran his fingers lightly everywhere but where I wanted them, but I refused to react.  It was fun to feel his tension build as he tried to get me to beg for more.

“You’re so fucking stubborn,” he said, before he finally slid his fingers across my clit.  I moaned and pressed my hips towards his hand and he moved it away.  I didn’t even have time to process the absence of his fingers though, because he quickly tugged off my shorts, rolled me onto my stomach, and thrust into me.  I buried my face in the couch to stifle my moans as he got a hand beneath us both and pressed two fingers against my clit. 

There wasn’t quite enough room for my right arm on the couch, so I hung it over the side, but I couldn’t quite reach the floor.  I was trying to figure out what to do with it when Ryan slowed down, grabbed my arm, and pulled it behind my back.  He held my wrist against the small of my back and it was surprisingly hot.  Neither of us lasted much longer after that. 

“Are you going to leave me alone and let me watch the rest of this documentary now?” I asked, rolling onto my side so he could lay behind me on the couch again. 

He laughed.  “Seriously?  You started it.”  He slung an arm around my waist and pressed his face against my neck.  I didn’t understand how he went from growling at me and ‘fucking me senseless’ to burrowing into my neck like a kid. 

“I guess that’s true,” I admitted.

Ryan stayed most of the day.  We had sex one more time before he left—lazy spooning sex on the couch.  Finally he untangled himself from me, stood and stretched, and pulled his clothes on.  “I should go,” he said lazily. 

            When I didn’t say anything, he turned and looked at me pointedly like he was expecting an answer.  “Okay?” I replied, sitting up.  He frowned.  “Don’t look so disappointed.  You’re not getting anymore today.”

            He grinned and pulled me to my feet, kissing my forehead and saying, “That’s fine, you’ll need your rest, I’m home for a month.”  He walked over to the door and put his shoes on.  I leaned against the wall and watched him.  He paused with his hand on the doorknob and said, “Call when you need some more of this.”  Then he flashed me his million dollar grin and left.

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