Chapter 27 (7/9/16)

Next post is edited and ready to go, and will be up bright and early Tuesday morning!

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“So I never asked you how you know Ryan,” I said to Rachael over lunch on Monday.  “I need some details.”

“I went to high school with him,” she told me.  Rachael was from a small town about an hour away, and had said previously that people from her hometown either stayed in that town or ended up in Duluth.  “I’m so glad you went out with him.  He’s great.”  I had already filled her in on the time I’d spent with him that weekend, and she was seriously excited about it.  “You’re going to see him again, right?”

“Yeah, I am,” I said, and I felt my face get hot.  It didn’t escape Rachael’s attention and she grinned wickedly.

“You like him,” she said, wiggling her eyebrows at me.

“Whoa, I wouldn’t go that far,” I said truthfully. “But he is absolutely gorgeous and I’m definitely really attracted to him.”

Her grin turned to a smirk and she leaned in conspiratorially.  “He was so awkward in high school,” she confessed.  “The first time I saw him when he moved here after college, I was so confused.  He was not gorgeous in high school.  Not even close.  But he grew up nicely, that’s for sure!”

We gossiped about him a little longer, until I had learned enough about him for one day.  He had one younger brother, his dad had died a couple years back, and he played basketball and ran track in high school.  We finished up our lunch and got back to the office with just a few minutes of our lunch break to spare.

I kept myself busy over the next week.  I had my dance classes on Monday and Thursday, spent Tuesday evening putting together a bookshelf I’d bought for an empty wall in my living room, and had dinner with Kelly and Erica on Wednesday.  So when Friday rolled around and Rachael invited me out with her on Friday for an acquaintance’s birthday, I tried to decline. 

“Come on,” she urged me.  “When’s the last time you went out out?”  I considered this, and I realized I wasn’t even sure.  Nights out with Kelly and Erica were never too wild, considering they were both married and we were all nearing 30 very quickly.  “See?  You need to come out with me.  I got suckered into going to this and I’m hardly going to know anyone.  Please?”

“Fine,” I agreed begrudgingly.  “But only for a few hours.”

“Only for a few hours,” she agreed.

            I dutifully went home after work, took a short nap, took a shower, and changed into clothes that were more appropriate for going out.  I had some extra time, so I got creative with my face, doing fun gold and plum eye makeup. 

Rachael had sweetened the deal by offering to drive, and I was fully ready by the time she got there.  “You look hot!” she said as I got in the car. 

“You’re just saying that because you’re so glad I’m going with you,” I teased her.

She laughed.  “I am glad you’re coming with me, but you’re definitely hot,” she replied.

“Well, thank you,” I said.  “That makes two of us, because you look amazing too!”  And she did.  She was wearing sheer leggings, a short, tight long sleeved dress, and heels.  Definitely different from her workday clothes.

We found a good parking spot and made our way to the bar we were meeting at.  Rachael cheerfully chatted away as we walked, and I tried not to yawn.  It had been such a busy week.  I woke up a little when we stepped into the high-energy bar, which was a little too high energy for a place to start, but at least I wouldn’t fall asleep!  We stopped and grabbed drinks before we wove our way through the crowd to find the rest of the group. 

Rachael introduced me to a bunch of people whose names I promptly forgot.  I listened to everyone chatting for a while without contributing much.  Then one of the guys that Rachael had introduced earlier came over.  “Hi. Jenna, right?” he greeted me. 

“Yeah,” I replied, furrowing my brow as I tried to remember his name.

He chuckled.  “Jesse.  Rachael introduced way too many people at once.” 

I grinned and said, “All I remember is that there was a Julie and a Christina.  Probably a Mike too—there’s always a Mike, right?”

“There’s two,” he confirmed, laughing. 

“I knew it!”  I said.  Rachael looked over at me, then at Jesse, subtly cocked an eyebrow, and shrugged when I rolled my eyes. 

Jesse was completely oblivious to this exchange and kept chatting away.  He was cute, with short blonde hair and big brown eyes that gave him a very innocent look.  But judging by the smooth way he seemed to be getting closer and closer to me without me even realizing it, my guess was that he was far from innocent.  “Can I buy you another drink?” he asked me, gesturing to my nearly empty glass. 

I considered for a second before smiling and answering, “Sure.” 

I walked with him up to the bar and gave my order to the bartender when it was our turn.  While we waited for our drinks, he turned towards me and cocked his head.  “Why haven’t you ever come out with Rachael before?” he asked curiously. 

I shrugged.  “We’ve always been work friends, but we’ve never really hung out outside of work until recently,” I explained.  He asked what had gotten us hanging out outside of work, and I explained my quest for a new hobby and Rachael and I trying a few different classes together.  “She stuck with the rock climbing thing, and I stuck with dance,”  I finished.

“A dancer, huh?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow.  We took our drinks from the bartender and he handed her some cash.

I smiled as we turned from the bar.  “I wouldn’t call myself a dancer,” I said.  “I dance.  Not well, necessarily.  And thank you.”  I motioned to my drink.

“You're more than welcome.  And I don’t know, it’s kind of like running, right?  If you run, you’re a runner.  If you dance, you’re a dancer.”  I shrugged, and the topic fell off as we wove back through the crowd, which seemed to have nearly doubled in the time we were at the bar. 

“Where did you go?” Rachael asked, as soon as we came back.  I held up my fresh drink and motioned to Jesse, who had been stopped by a guy who appeared to have joined the group.  “He’s cute,” she said, grinning, “but what about Ryan?”

“Ryan and I aren’t dating, Rach,” I reminded her.  “Nothing serious.  Just sex.  I’m pretty sure that doesn’t preclude me from allowing a cute guy to buy me a drink.”

“That’s fair,” she agreed.  “But you and Ryan would make really, really adorable babies.”

“I’m going to regret ever agreeing to go out with him, aren’t I?” I groaned.

“Go out with who?” Jesse asked, appearing next to me again.  I jumped a little, startled. “Sorry!” he said immediately.  “I didn’t mean to scare you, I thought you saw me.” 

Rachael changed the subject and he seemed to forget that he had asked the question.  We chatted off and on through the early part of the night.  He would wander away for a little while to talk to other people in the group, and then come back.  We changed bars a few times, and every time my drink was gone, he’d bring me another one.  I was drunk by 11, and completely wasted by 12.  The rest of the night was a blur.

I opened my eyes in the morning and immediately closed them again.  My eyelids felt like sandpaper.  I quickly became aware of my pounding head and forgot about my eyelids, though.  Groaning, I rolled onto my side and realized I was also feeling extremely nauseous.  I hurried to my bathroom and made it just in time to throw up what appeared to be nothing but stomach acid.  “Fuck,” I muttered, laying my arm on the toilet seat and my head on my arm and squeezing my eyes shut.  Throwing up hadn’t done any favors for my headache. 

When I was sure I was done throwing up (or attempting to throw up), I pulled myself shakily to my feet.  I rinsed my mouth out and brushed my teeth, trying to avoid looking at myself in the mirror.  When I did, I saw eye makeup smeared down both cheeks and up towards one temple.  My hair was a tangled mess, half in and half out of a ponytail.  “Gross,” I said out loud to myself.   I scrubbed my makeup off, but didn’t have the energy to do something with my hair.  Later.

I stumbled downstairs to get some water and nearly shrieked when I saw someone laying on my couch.  “Jesus Christ,” I yelped as Rachael sat up and blinked at me.  “What are you doing on my couch?”

“Making sure you didn’t die,” she grumbled back.  “You were a fucking disaster last night.”

“I’m still a fucking disaster,” I replied, continuing into the kitchen.  I paused by the fridge, briefly considering if I was going to throw up again, then decided I was probably okay.  Maybe.  I found a bottle of Gatorade in the fridge when I opened it for water.  “Is this your Gatorade?” I called to Rachael, immediately regretting speaking so loudly.

“I picked it up for you on the way home last night because I figured you’d need it this morning,” she called back.  Bless you, Rachael.  I poured some into a glass and added water, because the last thing I needed right now was a bunch of sugar.  I swallowed two Tylenol and went back into my living room.

“What’s the last thing you remember?” Rachael asked me, once I was situated in the recliner with my watered-down Gatorade and a blanket. 

I thought back to the night before.  “Ummm…I remember dancing with Jesse at the third—I think it was the third?—bar we went to.”

Rachael laughed.  “Oh, girl.  Let me tell you allllllll about the stupid things you did after that.”  And she did—with glee.  I danced with Jesse and several other guys, both from our group and not from our group.  Then I made out with Jesse.  And also with some random guy whose name Rachael didn’t even know because one of the other girls in the group had bet me that I wouldn’t do it.   Then I had loudly announced that I going to spend the rest of the last year of my twenties making up for all the random sex I hadn’t had in the rest of my twenties because I had been too busy being married to an asshole.  Apparently, I immediately got 3 offers from guys around us that were willing to help.  I sank further and further into the chair as Rachael recounted the rest of the night, which ended with me throwing up several times (including once at the last bar we were at) and then crying on my bathroom floor.  “I still have no idea why you were crying, because I couldn’t understand a word you were saying,” she informed me.  “By the time you calmed down enough to make sense, you told me to fuck off and leave you alone.  So I put you in bed and came down here to sleep.”

“Oh my god,” I said, closing my eyes and leaning my head back.  “I am embarrassing.”

 “I tried to stop you, and I tried to get you home earlier, but you were incredibly uncooperative.”

“I owe you one,” I told her.  “I’ll buy lunch on Monday.  I’d say lunch today, but I’m pretty sure that I won’t eat until it’s dark again tonight.”  My stomach turned at the mere thought of food. 

“That’s fine,” she said.  “I have lunch plans anyway.  So I’m going to get going now that I know you’re alive and you know what a hot mess you were last night.”  I groaned and she laughed.  She stood up and made her way to the door.  “Oh, Jesse asked you for your number last night too, and you made me give it to him because you couldn’t remember it.”

“Well, I’m sure it doesn’t matter, because there’s no way he’s calling me after all that.  And I’m not sure I want him to!”

“You sure seemed to want him to last night,” she replied, grinned wickedly.

“Get out of my house,” I told her.

She raised an eyebrow.  “That’s awfully rude, considering I made sure you made it home safely last night and kept your hair out of your toilet.”  I made a face and thanked her again, then she left me alone to wallow in my own embarrassment about the night before.

            Unsurprisingly, I didn’t hear from Jesse that week.  I did, however, hear from Ryan the next Thursday, right when he’d told me he’d be back. “I’m back,” he said cheerfully when I answered his phone call. 

“Congratulations,” I said, teasingly.

He laughed, and I could imagine the grin on his gorgeous face.  “Thank you!” he replied.  “Can I see you?”

I didn’t even hesitate.  “That could be arranged, what were you thinking?”

“Are you free Saturday?” he asked. 

“I am, it’s your lucky day!” I told him.

He chuckled again, then said, “It must be.  Would you be comfortable just coming over?  I can make dinner, we can Netflix and chill.”

I snorted.  “Netflix and chill?  How old are you?”

“31,” he replied.  “Is that too old to say ‘Netflix and chill’?  How about Hulu and screw?”

I burst out laughing.  “Hulu and screw it is,” I said, once I had gotten a hold of myself.  I promptly started laughing again, which made Ryan laugh too. 

“I’m glad you find me so funny,” he said, “but Hulu and screw is no laughing matter.”

“No, obviously not,” I replied, trying to control myself.  “So, Hulu and screw Saturday, huh?  When do you want me?”

“That’s a dangerous question,” he replied, and I could practically picture the smirk on his face.  “But if you mean what time should you come over, how about 7ish?”

“7ish works,” I agreed.  “And did you say you’re going to make dinner?  Do you mean actually cook food, or should I plan on eating mac and cheese with you?”

“Well I happen to be an excellent cook.  And I was going to actually cook food,” he said, pretending to be offended, “But now I’m not sure you deserve it.”

“Lucky for me, you’re a nice enough guy that you’ll cook for me anyway, right?”

“Hmmm,” he mused.  “That depends.  How do you feel about scallops?”

“Like they’re delicious but far too fancy for the ill-behaved likes of me,” I replied.

He laughed.  “Good answer.  I’ll feed you.  But hey," he said, suddenly serious, "just so you know, I don’t do sleepovers.”

“That’s fine with me,” I told him.  Spending the night with a guy that I was supposed to just be having sex with seemed like a bad idea anyway.  We wrapped up our conversation about our plans and said goodbye, and now I had something to look forward to.

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Chapter 26 (7/6/16)

Last one for this week, but I couldn't resist!  Except a new post early next week :)
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It took me less than 24 hours to decide I was going to call Ryan, but nearly a week to actually call.  I was going to do this on my terms.  I called him around 8 the next Thursday, and I sat there nervously bouncing my leg, wondering if he would answer.  He did.  “Hello?”

“Hi.  This is Jenna, Rachael’s friend.”

“Well hello Jenna, Rachael’s friend,” he replied, sounding surprised.  “I have to be honest, I didn’t think you were going to call.”

“I thought you were confident,” I said.

He chuckled.  “I am, but I’m also realistic every once in awhile.”

“I appreciate a good dose of realism,” I said, smiling despite myself. 

“Well, I appreciate phone calls from pretty women,” he said, moving smoothly back into cocky.  “What can I do for you?”

I snorted.  “You tell me, Ryan.  What can you do for me?”

“Feisty, I like that.  Have you considered my offer to take you out?”
            “I’ve considered your request to take me out,” I shot back, “And I’m willing to grant it.”

“Lucky me,” he replied, laughing.  “Alright then, how about tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow?  What do you think this is?”  I was enjoying our banter, as much as I didn’t want to enjoy it.

“Oh, I have no preconceived notions, but I leave on Sunday for over a week and was hoping to get to see you before I go.”

“Well, when you put it that way, how about Saturday?”

He chuckled again.  “Saturday it is.  What time can I pick you up?”

“This isn’t a date, so you can meet me at 7:30,” I said.  “I’ll let you pick where.”

“Right, I forgot for a second, thanks for reminding me!” he replied cheerfully.  He named a bar that I hated, but I was already being enough of a pain in the ass so I didn’t argue. 

“I’ll see you on Saturday, then,” I said, effectively ending the conversation.

I could almost hear him smiling.  “I’m looking forward to it.  Goodnight, Jenna.”

“Bye,” I said.  I pulled the phone away from my face and stabbed at where the “End call” button should be, but he had already hung up.

“I’m going to see him.  Saturday.” I texted to Erica and Kelly.  “Yay!” was Erica’s immediate response.  “I figured you would,” Kelly said.  “What are you going to wear?” Erica asked next.  I hadn’t even considered that.  “You mean I have to wear clothes?  I’m not good at wearing clothes.”  Kelly responded next, “No, you’re just not good at picking your own clothes out.  You wear them just fine.”  Obviously this meant I needed to try on several outfits until I figured out what I was going to wear on Saturday.  I sent a picture of the final choice to Erica and Kelly and they both approved, so I laid it carefully on top of the bank of drawers in my closet. 

“I’m going out with Ryan tomorrow,” I told Rachael the next day.

“You are?” she squealed excitedly.  Then she looked around the office and lowered her voice to barely above a whisper. “Really?”

“I am, really,” I told her. 

She was clearly thrilled with this.  “I really hope you like him.  Or at least like his dick.  I’ve heard good things.”  She gave me a lascivious grin.

I rolled my eyes.  “It better be likeable, or I’m blaming you.”

“Oh no,” she said, shaking her head.  “You guys had already met before I started meddling.  That means I’m blameless.” 

“I’m not sure you’re ever blameless,” I joked, smirking at her.  A dirty look from our boss sent Rachael scampering back to her office and brought some color to my cheeks as I turned my attention back to my computer screen. 

On Saturday I had one of my best runs ever, and it put me in a good mood going into my… "meeting" with Ryan.  By the time I was done getting ready, I was pretty impressed that I had managed to pull off the perfect balance of cute and casual.  I took one last look in the mirror, threw my phone in my purse, and left to go meet him.

He was already there when I got there, and I realized that I could get used to men that were on time.  I saw him right away when I walked in.  He was sitting in a small corner booth right across from the door.  I walked over, and he stood to greet me with a quick kiss on the cheek.  “Hello, beautiful,” he said softly, and I noticed his eyes hadn’t even left my face.  It took all my willpower to keep from narrowing my eyes at him.  We sat, and I took the drink menu from the center of the table.

“Vodka soda?” he asked me, his eyes twinkling. 

I couldn’t help but laugh, then cringe, at the memory of the evening we’d first “met”.  “No, actually I’m thinking about a glass of pinot noir,” I said.

Ryan nodded, then said, “I’m guessing you’re not a woman who takes kindly to people ordering for you.  Am I right?”

“You’re kind of right,” I confirmed.  “I wouldn’t be a fan of you doing it, but someone I’ve been with awhile that knows what I usually drink ordering something for me if he got somewhere before me would be okay.”  Ryan was about to respond, but our server came over and I put in my drink order.  She returned quickly with my wine; it wasn’t busy at all.

After taking a long drink of his beer, Ryan put it down and said, “So, tell me about your divorce.”

I almost choked on the wine in my mouth, and swallowed it quickly.  “What?”  He calmly repeated himself.  “Why do you want to hear about my divorce?”

“Well,” he answered, shrugging, “if we’re going to be sleeping together, I should probably know at least a couple important things about you, don’t you think?” 

No, not really, I thought to myself.  I stared at him for several seconds and finally said, “I don’t really think that’s appropriate first date conversation.”

“But this isn’t a date, remember?  This is simply a meeting to make sure we don’t hate each other, right?”  This time I didn’t prevent myself from narrowing my eyes at him.  “And,” he continued, “In order to know that we don’t hate each other, we should probably know some of the nitty-gritty right from the start.” 

I pressed my lips together and considered what to tell him, because I had to admit that he had a point.  In some weird, twisted way, what he just said made sense to me. “Fine.  I’ve been divorced for almost 6 months now.”  That was still weird to say out loud.  “I lived in his house, with him, for almost 3 of those 6 months.  It was the worst.  The divorce itself was amicable enough that we did it without attorneys or court, but it was all downhill from there, and now I sort of hope he gets hit by a train.  Oh, and we got divorced because he cheated on me repeatedly for two years.”  I stopped talking and gave him a “happy now?” look. 

Ryan nodded.  “If he was cheating like that, he was also lying and manipulating you for two years,” he offered, reading between the not-so-subtle lines.  “So he’s a gigantic asshole, and you don’t trust anyone, which is why you’re not interested in doing any serious dating.”

I frowned.  “I thought this was a meeting to make sure we don’t hate each other, not a psychoanalyzing session.”

He shrugged.  “I’m just connecting the dots,” he replied casually.  “Okay, you’re off the hook.  It’s my turn.  As you already know, I travel a lot for work.  I also seem to be programmed differently than most, and I don’t think I have the ability to miss people.  So while I can be all about someone when I’m around, when I’m in Germany for 3 weeks, I barely think about her.  That doesn’t bode well for any sort of lasting relationship.”  He caught my skeptical look and continued smoothly, “I’m not out messing around when I’m traveling for work, so it’s not even that.  I just have work to do when I’m traveling, and I focus on that.  I’m way too busy when I’m traveling.  I tend to forget about whatever’s at home.  As I’m sure you can imagine, there aren’t many women that are okay with being in a relationship half of the time and being forgotten about half the time.”

“I can definitely imagine,” I agreed.  Despite his words, his cocky attitude was starting to grow on me. It seemed like he was, at the very least, brutally honest…and honesty was something I could use right now.

The rest of our conversation was lighter and before we knew it, 4 hours had passed.  “Oh shit,” Ryan said, glancing at his watch.  

“What? Got a date?” I replied, cocking an eyebrow.  His attitude was rubbing off on me.

He burst out laughing.  “Me?  Never.  But I do need to be at the airport in 6 hours, so I should probably get home to try to get some sleep.”

I nodded reluctantly.  As prepared as I had been to dislike him, I was actually having fun and I was very clearly attracted to him.  In fact, I wouldn’t have minded getting to know him a little more intimately tonight.  Too bad he had a plane to catch early in the morning. 

When our server stopped back over at the table, he simply handed her his credit card.  I reached for my purse and he stopped me.  “I’d like to pay,” he said.  The way he said it was different, almost a request.  He raised an eyebrow, waiting for my response. 

I paused, then released my purse.  “Okay, thank you,” I told him.  He grinned, and the cocky attitude was back.  He signed the slip when our server brought it back, then stood and offered me his hand.  I took it and stood.

As we walked out, he let his hand fall to my lower back, and I wasn’t mad about it.  He walked me to my car and then leaned casually against it.  “Well, the timing is horrible, because I’m going to be gone for almost two weeks,” he said, a frown marring his beautiful face.  “But I’d like to see you when I get back.”

“I guess that would be okay,” I said, smirking.  He laughed and shook his head, then surprised me by tipping my chin up and kissing me.  It was a brief kiss, his lips soft but firm against mine, and then he was no longer in my space and I instantly wanted him back.

“Good,” he said, grinning.  “I’ll give you a call when I’m back, then.  I’ll be back sometime around next Thursday.  Maybe Wednesday, maybe Friday, I’m not actually sure yet.  In the meantime, stay out of trouble.”  That earned him a glare, and he laughed and pulled my driver’s side door open for me.  I stood there glaring defiantly at him for several seconds, and he returned my gaze with amusement.  Finally I rolled my eyes and got in. 

“I hope you have a good trip,” I told him sincerely, looking up at him.  He flashed me one more grin, assured me that he would, and then he was gone.  I watched him in my side mirror as he walked to his car, wondering what the hell I was getting myself into.

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Chapter 25 (7/4/16)

I would never leave you hanging too long after a cliffhanger!  (If you didn't see Sunday's post, scroll down and read that one first.)  Enjoy :)

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“Jenna, this is—“

“Ryan,” I interrupted, taken completely by surprise.

Ryan grinned, and Rachael frowned.  “You guys know each other?” she asked, looking between us in confusion.

“Not exactly, but we’ve met,” Ryan said, extending his hand towards me.  I took it and we shook.  He held onto my hand a beat longer than necessary.  “Nice to see you again, and now I know your name, too.”

Rachael still looked really confused.  I colored slightly as I said, “Ryan was my server when I was out on a terrible date.  He swapped my disgusting gin and tonic for a vodka soda and made it slightly less terrible.”  I left out the part about him chasing me out to my car to give me his number, and I flushed a little more thinking about it.  So awkward.

“You know that terrible date was the talk of the kitchen, right?” Ryan asked, his easy grin widening.  “We were all talking about the poor pretty girl that was out on either a blind date or an online dating date with the not-so-pretty guy that was completely full of himself.  It was the least I could do.”

My face was hot now, and Rachael only looked slightly less confused.  Seeing her confusion, Ryan said, “My uncle owns a restaurant and I fill in sometimes when I’m home.”  Turning to me, he said, “My day job is international project management.  You caught me on a rare night I was helping my uncle out.”

Erica had wandered over and she introduced herself to Ryan.  I had no idea what “international project management” actually was, so I just smiled and nodded.  “You must travel a lot then,” Erica said, saving me from having to come up with something.

Ryan nodded.  “I do.  I’m hardly ever home for more than a week or two at a time, except for every once in awhile when I get a month or so off from traveling.  That only happens once or twice a year though.” 

Rachael had recovered, and the four of us chatted for awhile.  Eventually, I somehow found myself alone with Ryan as the sun went down.  “So, was it my approach?”

“What?” I asked, confused.

“You didn’t call.  You're not into strange men chasing you down in a dark parking lot?”

I snorted.  “Well, that certainly wasn’t how I was expecting that night to end.  But it wasn’t that.  I’m not really dating right now.”

“Why not?” he asked boldly.

I pursed my lips and considered how to answer.  Finally, I decided honestly was for the best here.  “I’m fairly recently divorced,” I admitted.

“How recently is ‘fairly recently’?” he asked. 

My eyebrows flew up.  This guy was ballsy.  “You have terrible social skills,” I told him.  “Do you normally go around prying into people’s lives?”

“Only people I’m interested in,” he replied, returning my surprised look with a level gaze. 

I found myself melting (figuratively, of course), and I answered his question.  “Not quite 6 months ago.”  I immediately scolded myself internally for buckling so easily for an attractive man. 

“I don’t date,” he said, shrugging.  “I can’t, really.  I’m gone too much.  But I’d like to take you out sometime anyway.”

“Why?  If you don’t date, what’s the point?”

He smirked.  “Why do you think?” he asked, his eyes sparkling.  My god, he was sexy.

“You want to have sex with me,” I replied bluntly. 

He laughed.  “Well, I prefer to get to know people at least a little before I make that decision.”

“This is easily the weirdest conversation I’ve ever had,” I said, shaking my head.

“Weirder than your conversation with Mr. ‘I Work in Finance’?”

I shuddered, remembering it.  “That doesn’t even count as a conversation.  I think I said a dozen words the entire time I was there, and 10 of them were to you!”

“That’s probably true,” he agreed.  “Look, I’m a big fan of honesty.  I don’t date, but I would like to get to know you better to see what might happen.”

“So you want to take me out, but not on a date.  More like an interview to be your fuck buddy.”  I raised an eyebrow at him skeptically.

“You can call it whatever you want,” he replied with easy confidence.  “But you could also consider it an interview for me to be your fuck buddy.”

I wrinkled my nose.  “You’re a cocky motherfucker,” I told him.

“Confident,” he corrected me. 

I narrowed my eyes at him.  I hated that I was attracted to him.   His dark blue eyes regarded me calmly, waiting for me to respond.  When I said nothing, he shrugged, rubbed his hand over the two days’ worth of stubble along his jaw, and leaned back in his chair.  Erica reappeared at that moment and plopped down in the chair next to me.  “Where did you go?” I asked her, happy to turn my attention away from Ryan.

“I went inside to go to the bathroom, but then I started talking to one of Rachael’s friends and got distracted.”  She stopped and looked between Ryan and I, realized that she had interrupted something.  “You know, I can go—“ she started.

“What were you talking about?” I asked, interrupting her and preventing her from leaving.

She gave me a weird look and kept talking.  Ryan stayed long enough to be polite and then excused himself, perfectly politely.  He caught my eye just before he left, and he flashed me a quick, dazzling, ridiculously sexy smile.  Then he was gone.  “That’s the guy that Rachael is trying to hook you up with?” Erica asked unnecessarily, watching him walk away.  “He is beautiful.”

“He is,” I groaned.  “He’s also one cocky son of a bitch.” 

Erica cocked an eyebrow at me.  “That’s never bothered you before,” she pointed out.  I just glared at her.  She shrugged.  “I mean, if you’re not interested, you’re not interested…but he’s exactly your type and he is hot.”

“He is,” I repeated, sighing.  “He wants to take me out.  But not on a date.”  Erica looked puzzled.  “It’s a sex interview, Erica.”

Erica burst into laughter at that.  “A sex interview?” she repeated, still laughing.  “You’re ridiculous.” 

She was still laughing when Rachael came and pulled a chair up next to me on the other side.  “Well?” she asked, waggling her eyebrows at me. 

“He’s a dick,” I said. 

Rachael looked surprised.  “No he’s not,” she said.  “He comes off like a cocky asshole but he’s actually a really nice guy.  Don’t tell him I told you that though.” 

“That’s something that someone who was trying to get their friend laid would say,” I said.

“I know, I told him the same thing about you,” she shot back, smirking. 

I laughed, shaking my head.  “You would.”

“I would, but I didn’t,” she replied.  “Look, don’t feel pressured to go out with him.  I meant it when I said if you weren’t into it you wouldn’t hear about it from me again.  But don’t let his attitude fool you.”  Someone called out for Rachael and she tossed one more grin at me before she jumped up and walked towards the girl who called her name. 

“Are you ready?” I asked Erica.  She nodded and we stood. 

As we were walking through the backyard, I caught sight of Ryan again.  He was standing with a small group of people near the edge of the yard.  As I watched him, he turned his head and our eyes met.  “Just a second,” I said to Erica.  Feeling impulsive, I walked towards him.  He broke away from his friends as I approached.  Before he could say anything, I handed him my phone.  “Put your number in, in the event I decide to take you up on going out sometime,” I said coolly. 

“Sure,” he said, flashing that smile at me again.  He put his number in then handed it back to me. 

“Thanks,” I said, returning his smile.  Then I took my phone, turned, and walked back towards Erica without looking back to see if he was watching me.

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Chapter 24 (7/3/16)

A nice long post to thank you all for being so patient with my crazy life and posting "schedule".  Happy 4th to my American readers!
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It was April now, so the weather was starting to warm up from unimaginably cold to tolerably cold.  I was able to get back to and keep trucking along with my “running”, which was progressing very slowly.  Regardless, the slightly warmer weather and the exercise worked well together to lift my mood and I found myself becoming more and more cheerful as we got closer to spring in northern Minnesota. 

Rachael and I attended our free dance class together, and I loved it so much that I signed up for the next round of beginning jazz dance for adults, which started in a couple weeks.  Rachael was less impressed with it.  “I don’t think I’m going to walk right for a week,” she complained, grimacing as she carefully lowered herself onto the passenger seat of my car.

I chuckled as I got in, definitely feeling it but not quite as miserable as Rachael.  “I thought it was awesome,” I countered, still on an endorphin high. 

“I’m really glad you liked it,” Rachael said sincerely.  “Are you going to be able to go by yourself when your classes start?”

“Yeah,” I replied, nodding.  “There were way more people that went there alone than I thought.  Maybe I’ll even make some new friends!”

My excitement carried over to that weekend when Rachael and I went to our intro to climbing class at the climbing gym.  I had fun, but it wasn’t something I planned to do regularly.  Either way, it was nice to get out and do something besides going out to dinner or for a few drinks. 

I settled quickly into a new routine as winter finally melted away and spring came for real.  I went to my dance class every Thursday, and when the next round of classes started, I added a beginning tap class too.  I wasn’t very good, but it didn’t matter.  I had a lot of fun and was making friends with the people in my classes.  It was also a really great workout, and between the dance classes and my running (which was still more walking than running, but I was determined to stick with it), I lost a couple pounds and started feeling a lot better about myself in general. 

In addition to feeling more confident, I was also feeling better mentally.  I hadn’t had one of those random bad days like my Target parking lot meltdown in weeks.  When I found something that I had accidentally brought to my new house that actually belonged to Kevin, I didn’t agonize over whether or not I could manage texting him and letting him know.  I just did it.  He told me to keep it, and that was the end of it.  I didn’t give it another thought. 

Despite all that, I was still shying away from dating.  It just felt like it was too soon, and it hadn’t been long enough since my last meltdown for me to believe that I was actually out of the woods with it.  Every once in awhile I considered reactivating my online dating account, but then I realized that I kind of hated the entire idea of online dating. 

I also picked a weekend to go visit Chelsea.  I hadn’t seen her since I stopped for lunch on my way back from my parents’ house at Christmas.  She only lived 2 hours away, there was no reason for not seeing her more often.  Her husband, Aaron, was out of town for the fishing opener, and we had a great weekend of shopping, eating, relaxing, and drinking a lot of wine—obviously.  As we were saying goodbye, she looked at me and cocked her head.  “You seem happy, Jen.  Like seriously happy.  I don’t think I’ve seen you this happy in a really long time.”

“I am happy,” I said.  “Seriously happy.  Getting divorced was the worst thing and the best thing that’s ever happened to me, I think.  If that makes any sense.”

“Not really, but I know what you mean,” she said, nodding.  “It sucked at the time, but now that you’ve gotten your life back together and realized how much better off you are, everything is good.”

“Exactly,” I agreed.  And it was true.  Now that I could live my life without being constantly worried that Kevin was cheating on my or lying to me, I felt free.  I wasn’t in a hurry to mess that up by losing my freedom to someone.

Rachael caught up to me in our small parking lot after work the next Thursday.  “Hey, I’m having a few people over this Saturday for a cookout to celebrate spring, and you should come,” she said. 

“I’d love to, but I have plans with Erica and Kelly,” I fibbed.  I didn’t, but I also didn’t want to attend a party where I wouldn’t know anyone but Rachael.

“Bring them with you.  I’ve always wanted to meet them anyway,” she insisted.  “I have a friend I want you to meet.”

I cocked an eyebrow skeptically.  “A friend with a vagina, or a friend with a penis?” I asked.

“A penis,” she admitted.

“Nope,” I said immediately, starting to open my car door.  “You know I’m not really dating right now.”

Unfazed, she said, “Good, because neither is he.”  I gave her a confused look and waited for her to explain.  “He travels a lot for work.  Sometime he’s gone for weeks at a time.  He’s attractive, makes good money, and is a pretty nice guy.  He’d make a great no-pressure friend with benefits.”

I paused, considering this.  A good-looking friend with benefits did sound appealing.  But then I shrugged.  “I don’t know, Rach.”

“Just come.  I promise I won’t tell him about you.  Just come and meet him and if you’re not into it, then that’s fine!  But I think you’ll be into it.”

“You’re not going to stop harassing me until I agree, are you?” I asked, knowing her all too well.

“Nope!” she confirmed, grinning deviously. 

I sighed.  “Let me talk to Erica and Kelly.  If they don’t want to go, I’m not coming, I had plans with them first.” 

“Fine,” she agreed.  “Make sure you tell them why I want you to come, though!”

Kelly and her husband had plans that Saturday with her inlaws, but Erica happily agreed to accompany me to Rachael’s cookout.  “It’s supposed to be really nice this weekend,” she said happily, when I told them about the party that evening over dinner.  “And some video game just came out and I’m sure John is going to spend all weekend playing it.”

“I think it’s really weird that your husband still plays video games for hours at a time,” Kelly said.

“Try days at a time, if he could get away with it,” Erica replied, rolling her eyes.  “But it usually only lasts for a couple weeks after whatever exciting new game comes out, and then he goes back to normal.”

We discussed John’s video game hobby awhile longer, then went our separate ways.  I spent the next day hoping that Erica would bail on me and I’d have an excuse not to go to Rachael’s cookout, but it didn’t happen.  Despite my reluctance to go, I found myself spending a little longer picking out my outfit and doing my hair and makeup on Saturday.  When I realized it, I rolled my eyes at myself and put my hair in a ponytail out of sheer defiance.

“You look really cute,” Erica said when I got in her car.  “And I’m so excited that it’s so nice out!”  She was right.  It was supposed to hit 70 degrees today (not that that was a requirement for a Minnesota spring cookout) and it was sunny and just a little breezy.  It was a great day for an outdoor party.

There were already a handful of cars parked on the street by Rachael’s house, and we parked a few houses down and made our way straight to the backyard.  Rachael spotted us right away and hurried over.  “Hi, you made it!” she said, hugging me.

“I did!” I replied cheerfully.  I was happy to be outside without a coat on, and I wasn’t going to let Rachael’s motivation for inviting me ruin my good mood.  “This is Erica.  Kelly got sick last night and bailed.”  It was too easy to fib to cover my tracks. 

Rachael and Erica greeted each other and Rachael pressed a beer into each of our hands.  “Enjoy the party!  Food is on the patio.  I’ll catch up with you a little later!”  And then she scampered off back to the party.

Erica and I went and got some food and found a place to sit and eat.  I recognized a couple familiar faces from previous social events I’d gone to with Rachael and we chatted with some of them for a little while.  I wondered who it was that Rachael was trying to set me up with, and I scanned the guests to try to guess.  There were a couple nice looking men standing around, but most seemed to be there with a significant other. 

I was grabbing another beer for myself when I heard Rachael behind me.  “Food is over here.  Oh, and I want you to meet my friend from work!”  I paused, with my back still to Rachael.  I realized that whoever she had with her must be the guy she wanted me to meet, and he must have just arrived.  “Jenna!” she said cheerfully.

I opened my beer and turned around, smiling in the direction of Rachael’s voice.  Then I froze in surprise, because I immediately recognized the person she was standing with.

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