Chapter 42 (8/11/16)

Short post tonight, sorry about that, but it was a logical place to end!  Enjoy :)

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“What did we do?” I groaned to myself, leaning back against the door and covering my face with my hands.  “Fuck!” I slammed one foot back against the door and the stood.  I needed a shower. 

I stayed in the shower for a long time, as if I could wash away all the evidence of whatever had happened between Ryan and I over the past 18 hours.  I felt uneasy about it all.  Did I have feelings for Ryan?  I didn’t think so.  Did he have feelings for me?  That didn’t seem like him at all, at least not based on what he told me.  But it sure seemed like he might.  Feelings would change everything.  I was so happy with our no-strings sex arrangement. 

When I got out of the shower, I considered calling Jesse but I just didn’t feel like being social now.  Instead, I got in bed to take a nap.  I hadn’t gotten nearly enough sleep last night, even though I had slept great for the few hours I was sleeping. 

As tired as I was, I couldn’t fall asleep.  I tried to tell myself it wasn’t a big deal, and I had no idea why I was so upset.  I sat up and sent a text to Kelly and Erica, asking to do brunch.  Erica responded that she was busy, but Kelly was up for it.  We made some plans for a little later and I finally dozed off for a bit.

I got up in time to get ready and meet Kelly on time.  Kelly cocked her head at me and said, “So what’s the emergency?”

“What?” I asked, frowning

She chuckled.  “You can’t fool me.  You don’t do last minute plans with us unless something is wrong.”

I sighed and shook my head.  “I don’t even know, Kel,” I said.  She waited patiently, so I verbally vomited the events of the last 24 hours at her. 

When I finished, Kelly smiled sympathetically.  “Well, you made it a lot longer without developing feelings than a lot of people do!” she said.

“What?  No!” I said, horrified.  “I don’t have feelings.  He has feelings.”

“You have feelings, Jenna,” she insisted.  “It’s okay.”

            “Why did I even come here?” I groaned. 

“Okay,” Kelly said, changing her approach.  “So what if he does?  Does that change things?”

“Of course it does,” I replied.  “This is not a thing that can happen.”  I gave Kelly a look that clearly said this was not up for debate, and she obligingly changed the subject.  While we ate, I got a text from Jesse asking me if I wanted to do something in the next couple days.  I read it and ignored it. 

After brunch with Kelly, I busied myself cleaning my house, even though it didn’t really need to be cleaned.  I made excuses to Jesse, and I managed to hold him off for an entire week.  Over the course of that week I went to dance class, went to work, and otherwise carried on as normal.  But on Saturday, Jesse called me and I couldn't avoid him any more. 

“Hello?” I answered hesitantly.

“Hi,” he answered.  “Is everything okay?”

“What? Yeah, why?”

He laughed.  “Come on, Jenna, what’s up?  I haven’t seen you in well over a week.”

“I’ve been busy,” I insisted. 

“I don’t believe you,” he replied boldly.  “Look, if you’re upset about something, you can just tell me.  Or if you don’t want to see me anymore…”

I sighed loudly.  “Seriously, Jesse, this is exactly why I don’t want a relationship.  I don’t want to have to answer to someone about my whereabouts.  We’re not together, you don’t get to demand to know where I’ve been.”

He was silent for several seconds, and then he said, “That’s not how I meant it at all.  I was only wondering if something was up that I should know about.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, feeling shitty.  I was being awful.  “Look, Jesse, I just have a lot going on right now, I need a little space.  Please don’t take it personally.”  I was still irritated, but I didn’t want to be so mean to him.  

Sounding defeated, Jesse said, “Okay, that’s cool.  Just give me a call when you’re feeling up to doing something?”

“I will,” I promised.  “Bye, Jesse.”  He said goodbye and we hung up. 

I saw that I had gotten an email while I was on the phone.  When I opened it I groaned, because it was from Ryan.  I took a deep breath and started to read:

Jenna,
Things felt weird when I left last week and I just wanted to check in and make sure everything is okay.  Email is probably the best way to get a hold of me with the time difference and all.  Let me know how you’re doing, okay?

Ryan

Irritated, I clicked my phone’s display off and threw it on the couch.  “Why the hell does everyone think there’s something wrong with me?” I snapped out loud to myself.  “Jesus, leave me alone!”  I realized I sounded like a crazy person and stopped talking, rubbing my face and taking a deep breath.   

From the couch, my phone vibrated.  Looking at it suspiciously, I picked it up and saw a text from Kelly.  I breathed a sigh of relief, because I knew she wasn’t going to ask me if I was okay.  But I let out a frustrated yelp when I read the text.  “Have you heard from Ryan?  Are you feeling better about everything?” 

Kelly’s text was the last straw.  I opened my contacts and stabbed at a name.  The phone rang 4 times before the person I was calling finally picked up.  “Jamie?  Is that offer to come visit still on the table?”   

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Chapter 41 (8/8/16)

This is Monday's post for the week, since I posted a bonus yesterday.  I make no promises on a Thursday post but I will have something up on Friday at the latest!
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            I was silent for the first several minutes of the drive until Ryan asked, “Are you okay?”

“Physically or mentally?” I asked bitterly. 

“Both,” he replied. 

“I’m fine physically,” I said.  “And I’ll be fine mentally shortly.  How much did you see?”

“All of it,” he replied.  “I wanted to let you fight your own battle.  At least until he grabbed you, and then I got pissed.”

“You didn’t look pissed,” I said.

He chuckled.  “My pissed and your pissed look a little different, Jenna.  Hey, do you mind if we stop at my place quick?”

“That’s fine,” I said, not even bothering to ask why. 

When we got to Ryan’s house, I went inside with him.  He went upstairs and then came back down in athletic shorts and a t-shirt.  “Seriously?” I asked, laughing.  “You wanted to stop here to change?”

He shrugged.  “Comfort is important,” he responded.  He tipped my chin up and the intensity of his gaze was mildly uncomfortable.  “You’re good?” he asked.

“Yes,” I said, shoving him playfully.  “I promise.  While we’re here, though, maybe you should follow through on all that teasing you did to me all day long.”

“Yeah?” he asked, his eyes sparkling.  “Don’t act like that dress wasn’t torturing me just as much as I was torturing you.”  He ran one finger along the strap of my sundress, then traced it across the sweetheart neckline and back up along the other strap.  He slipped his fingers into my hair and tipped my head up so he could bring his lips down to mine.  His kiss was slow and sensual, not at all what I was expecting from him.  I sighed as he tugged on my lower lip with his teeth and stroked the back of my neck with his fingertips. 

“Let’s go upstairs,” he said, pulling away and looking down at me hungrily.  I let him lead me up the stairs and to his room.  I was expecting him to lose his clothes immediately upon entering the room, but he sat on his bed against the headboard fully clothed and pulled me onto his lap.  We made out like teenagers for several minutes before his fingers found my dress’s zipper.  He dragged it slowly down, the fingers of his other hand dancing along the skin he was revealing as he unzipped me. 

Ryan took his time teasing me, stroking me, kissing as much of my body as he could get his mouth to.  I was practically begging for him by the time he finally eased into me and started moving against me.  I came almost immediately, then twice more before he finished, leaving us both a sweaty, breathless mess on his bed.

“Come here,” he said, shifting to a more comfortable position and reaching for me.  I settled against him with my head on his chest and my hand at the base of his head, gently rubbing his scalp and the top of his neck.  He sighed happily and we laid there silently until I dozed off.

I woke up with a start at some point.  The lamp next to the bed was still on, but I had no idea what time it was.  Ryan didn’t keep a clock in his room.  “Shit,” I said, sitting up and yawning.  “Sorry.”

Ryan yawned and rubbed his eyes, then squinted at his watch.  “Mmm, it’s late,” he groaned.  “Why don’t you just stay?”

“Are you sure?” I asked hesitantly.  We’d been sleeping together for a few months at this point and still had not spent the night together. 

He rolled over and looked up at me.  “It’s 2 in the morning, I’m tired, you’re clearly tired, I don’t really want to take you home right now.  So yeah, I’m sure.”  He gave me a sleepy smile and I shrugged and settled back into bed next to him.  It didn’t take long for me to fall back to sleep.

  Ryan was still asleep in the morning when I slipped out of his bed and into the bathroom.  But when I came back he was awake and he hungrily watched me walk—naked—back towards the bed.  When I got close, he lifted the blankets, silently inviting me back in next to him.  Against my better judgment, I slid back into his bed and pressed my back up against his bare chest. 

            I was surprised when the arm he was laying on wiggled its way under my body, coming up to wrap around my waist and pull me even more tightly against him.  Meanwhile, the fingertips of his other hand were lightly stroking the inside of my wrist, which made me shiver.  They continued all the way up my arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake.  After stroking gently across my jaw and throat, they trailed down across my collarbone, then down further.  Their path continued, brushing lightly over my breasts and down my stomach.  He skirted deftly past where I was hoping his fingers were going and continued over my hip and down my leg. 

            When he got to my knee, he put his palm flat against my leg and slid it back up the way his fingers had just come.  Up to my hip, then straight up my side to my ribs.  This time, he cupped my breast and let his thumb linger on and around my nipple, drawing a contented sigh from my lips.  No sooner was I relaxing back against him, enjoying the sensations radiating from his thumb, when he moved his hand.  He moved his palm down my stomach and finally stroked between my legs.  I moaned and arched my back, then pushed my hips toward his hand.

            His fingers moved against me slowly, building my pleasure but not pushing me towards orgasm.  He paused briefly, then moved the hand that had been wrapped around me to replace his other hand.  He leaned away slightly and I heard a condom wrapper rip open.  After several seconds of fumbling, he gently pushed my shoulders forward, bending me slightly.  I felt him behind me, and he slowly eased into me.  I tried to push my hips back against him, but he clamped a hand down on them, holding me in place.  Once he was inside me, he pulled me back against him and began to move in and out of me, excruciatingly slowly.   I tried again to grind my hips back against his, but his grip prevented it. 

            I felt like I would spontaneously combust if I didn’t come soon.  I moved my own hand towards my clit, desperate for release, but he beat me there, pressing his middle and index finger against me but not moving them.  He was still thrusting slowly, rhythmically.  “Ryan,” I gasped in frustration.

            “Be patient,” he whispered back.  He pressed his lips against my neck and alternated between sucking and gently biting.  I groaned and squirmed, trying to get his fingers to do something useful.

            He picked up the pace slightly, but he was still thrusting far too slowly for me.  I moaned when his thumb and index finger found my nipple, gently tugging and rolling it.  I’d never had such a slow, intense buildup to an orgasm before, and I felt like I’d been teetering right on the edge for hours, even though only 15 minutes had passed since I’d returned from the bathroom.  I whimpered and groaned, still desperately chasing the orgasm that Ryan was teasing me with. 

            He withdrew almost all the way, and then all at once he began circling his fingers around my clit, slammed into me, twisted my nipple, and bit down on my neck.  I came hard with a guttural moan, writhing and shaking against him.  He sucked on the spot he’d just bitten and continued lightly stroking my clit as I rode out the most intense orgasm I’d ever had.  I pulled his hand away from me when I couldn’t handle any more, and he stilled, allowing me to recover.  “Jesus,” I groaned.  I was twisted so my upper body was face down, my hips still pressed back against his.  One of my legs had wrapped around his at a painful angle, but I couldn’t move. 

            He chuckled softly and stroked my arm before coaxing my body back up against his and resuming his thrusting.  He went at a normal speed this time, and it only took about 30 seconds for me to come again.  This time, he didn’t stop, slamming into me over and over while I cried out and dug my fingers into his wrist.  Finally, he tensed and shuddered, finishing with a low moan and clutching my body against his.

            I could feel the blood pulsing under my skin all over my body, and when he stroked my arm again, I shivered and groaned.  I rolled away from him, my skin too sensitive to be touched.  I winced as my tender flesh clung to his, sticky with sweat, before separating and allowing me to roll onto my stomach and catch my breath.

            Several minutes passed before I started to feel normal again.  I sucked in a deep breath and turned my head towards Ryan, opening my eyes.  He was watching me through hooded lids, and he smiled a slow, sexy smile when we made eye contact.  “What the fuck was that?” I asked softly. 

            He raised one eyebrow.  “That was really amazing sex,” he responded.

            “But…” I trailed off.  It was really amazing sex.  The best I’d ever had.  But…why?  Where did it come from?  We’d always had good sex (if it wasn’t good, I wouldn’t keep doing it), but this felt different.  In fact, last night felt different too.  I got a pit in my stomach as I considered this.

            “But?” he prompted.  When I didn’t respond, he tried again.  “But what?”

            I shook my head and moved my eyes down, away from his.  Instead, I focused on the hollow where either of his collarbones ended at his throat.  “Come here,” he coaxed, dragging his thumb across my jawbone and curling his fingertips lightly into the hair at the base of my skull. I didn’t move.  “Jenna, what’s wrong?”

            Everything.  Everything was wrong.  We made a mistake.  We did too well playing at being a happy couple.  We spent the whole day pretending to be a happy couple.  We came back to his house and had happy couple sex.  And then I made the worst mistake of them all—the one that changed everything.  Like a happy-couple girlfriend, I’d spent the night.  That caused us to have mind-blowing happy couple morning sex, and now everything was wrong.

            But, of course, I said none of that.  “Nothing.  Nothing’s wrong.  I just have a lot to do today, so I should probably get going.”  I sat up and stretched casually, desperate to pretend that nothing had changed.

            “Really?  It’s not even 8:00.  At least have breakfast with me before you take off.”

            “I’m not hungry,” I lied.  I was starving.  “And it’s early.  You should stay in bed and get some more sleep.”  I stood and searched for my clothes, quickly and clumsily starting to pull them on.

            “How do you plan on getting home then?” he asked wryly.

            I paused and looked at him.  Good question.  “I can take a cab.” 

He was already standing up though, pulling on a pair of jeans that had been laying on the floor, discarded.  “You’ll do no such thing.  I’ll take you.”  He walked over to me, holding my thong out to me.  I blushed furiously and snatched it from him, yanking it on.  I twisted, trying to contort myself enough to zip up the back of the dress.  I was still shaky from the amazing orgasms I’d had, plus lack of sleep, and I stumbled as I lost my balance.  Ryan caught my arm and easily righted me, then turned me away from him and deftly zipped me up. 

“Thanks,” I muttered.

He turned me back around to face him and slid his hands down my arms, lightly taking hold of my wrists.  “Don’t freak out, Jenna,” he said softly.  “It doesn’t have to be a big deal.”  I yanked my hands away from him and turned, searching for my shoes.   “They’re by the door.”  I walked away, out of his room and towards the door.  I shoved my feet into my sandals and snatched my purse, looking up in time to see Ryan emerge from his bedroom.  He’d found a t-shirt to pull on, but his hair was tousled and his eyes still a little sleepy.  He looked so good that I had to turn away before I talked myself into staying for breakfast. 

Ryan grabbed his keys and pushed open the door to the garage, motioning for me to go out.  I did, but I yanked open his passenger side door before he could do it for me.  He held it as I got in, though, and shut it carefully behind me. 

The ride to my house was quiet, and I was thankful that he didn’t try to talk.  I stared out the window and wished for it to be over soon.  When he pulled up in front of my house and put it in park, I sighed.  “You don’t have to walk me to the door,” I assured him as he turned off his car.  He didn’t respond and got out anyway. 

When we got to the door, he leaned against it, preventing me from pushing past him and going right inside.  I looked at him, forcing a neutral expression onto my face.  “I leave for three weeks on Tuesday,” he reminded me. “Can I see you tomorrow before I go?”

I shook my head.  “Tomorrow isn’t good for me,” I said, offering no explanation.  He frowned, looking skeptical.  “Sorry,” I added with a shrug.

“When I come back, then,” he said.  He looked…sad?  I nodded.  He took a step closer to me and kissed me.  Without thinking, I melted against him, allowing his tongue access to mine and gripping his waist tightly.  His thumb traced my cheekbone and then ran along the outer edge of my ear, causing me to sigh lightly against his lips.  I felt his mouth turn into a smile against mine as he pushed his hand into my hair and tangled his fingers there, holding my head in place as his teeth tugged gently on my lower lip. Then he pressed his lips back against mine, ending the kiss as tenderly as it had started.

I pulled away as our mouths separated and fumbled with my keys.  “Have a safe trip,” I stammered, dropping my keys as I tried to force the wrong one into the lock.  “Goddamn it!” I snapped, irritated that one kiss had just overwhelmed me so completely that I couldn’t even work a key.  Ryan tried to hide his smirk as he bent and picked up the keys for me.  I snatched them away from him and finally worked the correct one into the lock.  “Thanks,” I said, turning back.  “And, um, thanks for yesterday.  And driving.  I appreciate it.” 

“You’re welcome,” he said warmly.  Then he winked.  “Thanks for this morning.”  I blushed, he smirked, and we both turned and headed our separate ways.

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Chapter 40 (8/7/16)

No one likes a good cliffhanger, huh?  I don't blame you!  I haven't yet decided if this post is another bonus or just Monday's post coming early for all you cliffhanger-haters.  We'll see how much writing/editing I get done today while I'm parked on the couch watching the Olympics!
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“I’m glad you came!” Grace said excitedly as we got out of the car.  “I thought maybe you’d decide not to.”  I almost laughed, thinking about how I had been about to tell Ryan to take me home before she saw us.

“Here I am,” I said, forcing a smile.  “Ryan, you remember Grace right?”

“Of course,” he said, flashing a disarming grin. 

“This is her husband Justin,” I continued, motioning towards him.  They shook hands and exchanged greetings and then we all started walking towards Sam and Nate’s house.  The party, which had originally been discussed as a surprise party, was no longer a surprise.  That’s okay though, because I think surprise parties are stupid. 

When we walked into the backyard, where the party was happening, the first person I saw (of course) was Kevin.  He was sitting with Charlie and Andrew, laughing with a beer in his hand.  He looked up when we walked back and narrowed his eyes briefly before looking back to Charlie.  Charlie looked up, looked at me and Ryan, and then leaned over to Kevin and said something to him.  Kevin laughed and just shook his head before glancing up at me again.

I stiffened slightly and once again regretted my decision to come.  Grace saw everything I had seen and said quietly, “Ignore him, he’s been insecure as hell as lately.  He’s just trying to get you riled up.” Justin, looking uncomfortable, excused himself to find some alcohol.  I decided that was a great plan and dragged Ryan over to the coolers that I knew held beer. 

I dug out a Summer Shandy and offered it to Ryan.  After poking around to see what else was in the cooler, he took the beer from me, opened it, and handed it back to me.  Then he grabbed one for himself.  “Thanks,” I said, surprised. 

Sam spotted us and came over to say hi.  I introduced her to Ryan and we chatted while I drank my beer.  It didn’t last long.  I reminded myself to slow down so I didn’t end up a shitshow before it even got dark.  Or at all. 

“I have to go to the bathroom, will you be alright for a few minutes?” I asked Ryan. 

“I can talk to anyone,” he said with a shrug.  “I’ll be fine!”  I excused myself and headed inside, making my way to the bathroom.  Someone was already in the one on the main level and I no longer felt comfortable just going upstairs so I waited.  By the time I got back outside, Ryan wasn’t where I had left him.  I looked around and spotted him…sitting next to Kevin and across from Charlie, engaged in very animated conversation with them. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I muttered to myself. 

“Kevin came and got him, he didn’t go looking for Kevin, if you’re worried about that,” Grace said, appearing next to me suddenly. 

“I don’t really see any reason for either of them to want to talk to each other,” I replied anxiously. 

Grace smiled sympathetically and motioned me over to where she was sitting with Rayne and Emma.  I was distracted by Ryan chatting cheerfully with Kevin and Charlie and couldn’t focus on the conversation, and I was relieved when I saw him get up and head my way.

He came and sat down next to me, put his arm around me, and moved his mouth very close to my ear.  I cocked my head towards him, waiting, keeping one eye on the conversation around me.  No one was paying attention to us. 

He rested his other hand on my bare thigh, placing it in a spot high enough to get someone I wasn’t sleeping with slapped. “Just so you know,” he said softly, his breath tickling my ear, “Your ex-husband asked how long we’d been dating.  I told him a little over two months.  So if anyone else asks, you should probably say the same thing.”  When he was finished talking, he pulled me just a little closer and traced my earlobe lightly with the tip of his tongue.

            “What are you doing?” I hissed, pulling back just enough to get my ear out of reach of his mouth.  This was not the time or place for his tongue to be touching any part of my body, and we certainly had not discussed telling people were actually dating.

            “Pissing off your ex,” he replied smoothly, his middle finger lightly stroking my inner thigh.  His voice was just barely loud enough for me to hear, but I looked around to make sure no one else did.

            “I don’t need any help doing that,” I grumbled.  And on top of that, between his tongue on my ear, the closeness of his body, and his finger stroking the sensitive skin of my leg, I now wanted to yank him into the nearest empty bathroom or closet and fuck him.   It was killing me that he had the balls to do this with another person sitting two feet away from me.  Except no one could see or hear anything, and to anyone watching it probably just looked like a quiet, intimate conversation.

            “Alright,” he said, shrugging and sliding his hand just slightly higher before removing it from my thigh.  “Don’t need to piss off the ex.  Got it.  Sorry about my presumption.”  He winked at me (and looked good doing it, as always) and then moved his face a socially appropriate distance away from mine.  He kept his arm around me, though, and I decided I was okay with that.  I looked up and caught Kevin watching us.  Unsure of what else to do, I gave him a small, tentative smile; a simple demonstration of good social skills.  He glared at me and turned away.

            “So it’s okay for him to sleep with half the fucking city while we’re married, but god fucking forbid I bring a man to a social function months after we get divorced,” I muttered. 

            I felt Ryan shift closer again, and then his mouth was back at my ear.  “Are you sure you don’t want some help pissing him off?”        

            I shook my head.  “I just want to pretend he’s not here,” I replied. 

            “Jenna!  I’m glad you made it!” 

My head snapped up, and I smiled at Nate.  “Happy birthday, Nate!” I answered.  I motioned to Ryan.  “This is Ryan.  Ryan, this is my friend Nate.”

“Hello, Ryan,” Nate said cheerfully.  We stood so Ryan could shake Nate’s hand, and ended up wandering over to the coolers to get another drink.  More alcohol might make this more bearable, right?  “So are you guys…?” he trailed off, looking back and forth between us.

“Nice to meet you, Nate,” Ryan said smoothly.  “And yeah, we are.”

Nate gave me a weird look, then turned his eyes back to Ryan.  “I hate to say it, but you’ve been a very well-kept secret.”

I scrambled for a response to that, and finally said, “Yeah, I didn’t really know how to bring it up, since you guys are also Kevin’s friends, and I didn’t want anything to be weird.”

“Definitely less weird to just show up with him,” Nate replied, his voice full of good-natured sarcasm.  “No, I get it though.  It’s been kind of weird for all of us, I think.”  I breathed a silent sigh of relief and made a mental note to thank Ryan for keeping his mouth shut for once and letting me answer that one.

Ryan pulled open a cooler and pulled out two more bottles of Summer Shandy.  He opened one and handed it to me.  “Thanks,” I said, taking it gratefully.  Nate reached in and grabbed one as well, and we wandered back in the direction we’d come from.  The entire time, Ryan kept his hand low on my back, resting casually just above my ass.

Nate led us over to a spot that had been claimed by a few other people from our little group.  I introduced the ones that hadn’t yet met Ryan, and we stood in the yard, chatting.  I noticed Ryan looking at me, and I turned to him.  “What?” I asked.

“You have something in your hair,” he responded.  “Turn your head.”  I turned back so I was facing forward again, and his fingers slid through my hair, plucking something from near my ear.  Then he smoothed the hair down, brushing the tips of his fingers lightly across the side of my neck.  His fingers against my skin sent heat radiating through me, and I gritted my teeth.  He held up a piece of fuzz and stated, “Probably from the dandelion field next door.”  He motioned to the neighbor’s yard, which had enough dandelions in various stages of life for the entire neighborhood.  I blew at the piece of fuzz and it drifted from Ryan’s finger into the air.

“Oh, good, I’m starving!” Justin declared.  I turned and saw that food was being brought out, and I had to agree.  After we had our plates, we sat down at one of the picnic tables in the backyard.  As we ate, Ryan occasionally rubbed his leg against mine.  While reaching around me to grab something from the other side of me, his arm brushed my breasts.  When I glared at him, he looked at me innocently, but I knew what he was doing. 

“You’re a horrible tease,” I hissed between clenched teeth when the rest of our tablemates were distracted by other conversation.

“Can’t keep my hands off you,” he replied with a shrug.  “It’s that ‘new relationship’ excitement, what can I say?” 

“I am going to kill you,” I growled.  He just smiled in response.  He was enjoying pretending to be my boyfriend just a little too much. 

His “incidental” contact had me too riled up to focus on much of anything, but when I emerged from the bathroom a little later to find him waiting in the hallway, I shook my head.  “I’m not having sex with you here,” I informed him.  “It’s completely inappropriate.” 

“Okay,” he said with a shrug.  “I just have to go to the bathroom.”  I looked at him suspiciously, but he moved past me without touching me.  “Unless…” 

“No,” I said again. 

“Okay,” he repeated breezily.  I moved out of the bathroom doorway and he shut the door behind him. 

When I got back outside, I saw Kevin was now talking to the small group Ryan and I had been comfortably chatting with.  I briefly considered finding someone else to say hi to, but then I realized that I didn’t want to let him determine who I could and couldn’t talk to.  I walked straight up to the group and Nate and Justin parted to allow me access, since Kevin had moved into the spot that Ryan and I had vacated.  I was nervous about what Ryan would do when he came back, but he respected my wishes and did nothing but lay his hand on my lower back, in the same spot it had been for most of the day so far.  Unconsciously, I shifted slightly closer to him, and I felt his fingers flex against my back, pressing gently into my flesh before relaxing again.

I had avoided conversation with Kevin for almost the entire time we’d been there, but he cornered me while I was grabbing a beer by myself a little while later.  “Really, Jenna?” he asked through gritted teeth. 

“What?” I asked irritably. 

“I can’t believe you’d come parade your adorable new relationship here around all my friends,” he hissed, glaring at me.

“All your friends?” I sputtered.  “In case you forgot, most of them are my friends too.  And I’m not here to parade anything around.  I’m here because it’s my friend’s birthday, and I brought Ryan because it’s awfully nice to have a little support at a social event where my ex husband and his lackey are going to be spending the entire time giving me dirty looks and whispering about how I’m too much of a fucking alcoholic to have babies.”  I spat the last part out bitterly and Kevin looked surprised.  “What, did you think no one would tell me?  That’s your problem, Kevin.  You’re so confident in all your lies that you don’t ever prepare for when they come back to bite you.  Why don’t you fuck off and go talk some more shit about me with Charlie?”

“Jenna,” Kevin started, but I cut him off.

“No,” I snapped.  “Don’t ‘Jenna’ me.  I’m tired of you manipulating my life.  I’m not letting you dictate what social events I can go to.  I’m not letting you dictate who I can be friends with.  You want to keep Charlie?  You can have him!  You two deserve each other.  But I’m not giving up my friendships with everyone else just because you cheated on me and destroyed our marriage.  And if you don’t want to see me ‘parading around’ with Ryan, maybe you should stay home next time.”

I turned to stalk off, but he caught my upper arm tightly in his hand and yanked me back towards him.  “You want pity friendships?” he sneered.  “That’s how desperate you’ve gotten?  You’re only here because they all feel sorry for you.  Poor, pathetic Jenna.  You should see how they look at you when you’re not paying attention--like an abused puppy.”

“Get your fucking hands off of me,” I growled.  “You have absolutely no right to touch me, much less grab me and keep me here against my will.”  Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed someone approaching.  Kevin must have too, because he let go right away and took a step back.

“Hey Jen, is everything okay?” Ryan asked calmly.  He didn’t even look at Kevin, he was just studying in my face in the dim glow of the light on the deck. 

“I’m fine,” I said.  “I think I’m ready to go, though.”

“You don’t have to go,” Kevin said, rolling his eyes.  “If you’re going to be a petulant brat, I’ll go.”

“Wow, you’re so noble,” I said sarcastically, turning to walk over towards Ryan so we could leave. 

“I think you should probably tread carefully,” Ryan said quietly, directing his words and his gaze at Kevin.  “I’m not really very pleased with the way you grabbed her.”  Ryan was incredibly calm, and he looked almost bored as he informed Kevin of this.

“Are you here to fight me?” Kevin asked, quickly losing control of the situation.  “Because she’s not worth it.”

Ryan laughed.  “No, I’m definitely not looking for a fight.  I’m just looking for you to keep your hands off Jenna.  And she's definitely worth it, it's you that's not.”  He turned his back to Kevin and said to me, “Did you want to stay or go?”

“I’m ready,” I said.  “Just let me say goodbye to Grace and Emma and Nate.” 

Ryan turned back to Kevin and said,  “Nice to meet you, Kevin.  Have a great rest of your night.”

Kevin muttered something under his breath as we walked away.  I didn't hear him, and I didn't want to know.  I found the people I wanted to say goodbye to, and then we got in the car.  I said nothing as Ryan pulled onto the street and started towards my house.

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