Friday, June 17, 2016

Chapter 21 (6/16/16)

“What do you mean?” Erica asked over the phone.  I could picture her face, puzzled.
“I mean that it was awful,” I whined.  “Seriously, so bad.  It seemed like he had no idea what he was doing.”  It was two days after my date with Mike ended in bedroom disaster, and I was only now getting a chance to tell Erica about it. 
“Maybe he was nervous?” Erica suggested.  “I mean, I’ve met him, and he doesn’t seem like the type to not know what he’s doing in bed.” 
“But he didn’t,” I told her.  “I guess he could have been nervous, but I don’t think nervousness is enough to make anyone completely forget that a thing called a clit exists, Erica.”
“Oh, that is bad,” she said.  “Well…” She trailed off, unable to complete her sentence.  We were both quiet for several seconds and then she said, “Are you going to give it another shot?”
“I like him otherwise,” I replied.  “He’s really funny, and he’s smart, and he’s really nice to me…Well, to everyone.”
“You didn’t answer the question, Jen.”
“Yeah, I will.  Maybe he was just nervous.  I shouldn’t get rid of someone just because of one bad round of sex, right?” I felt like I was trying to talk myself into it, and I probably was.
“No, not someone who is otherwise awesome,” Erica said firmly. 
I sighed and nodded, even though she couldn’t see me.  I was really disappointed that the sex with Mike had been awful.  You know how when it’s good, even if you don’t get off, you still enjoy yourself?  Yeah, there was none of that.  There was very little that was enjoyable at all.  Making out with him was fun, but that’s where it stopped. 
“Sorry, Jenna, I have to go,” Erica said, interrupting my self-pity party.  “John is going to be home soon and I have to figure out what we’re going to do for dinner.”
“Okay,” I replied.  “Well, I’ll let you know how round 2 goes.” 
We said goodbye and I got on with my evening, making myself some dinner and then eating and cleaning up the kitchen quickly.  I was eager to get back to my computer.  I had stopped returning Dan’s calls and texts (and he had only called once and texted once before he got the picture) but had just started talking to a new guy from the dating site, and so far he had my interest. 
I plopped onto the couch and opened my laptop.  After I logged into the dating site, I clicked around, looking at a couple profiles before I went to my messages.  I saw the guy I had been talking to was online, and we started chatting.  By the time I went to bed, we’d set up a date for Friday, and I also had scheduled a date with Mike for Saturday.

On Friday, I walked into the bar where I was supposed to meet Chris, the guy from the dating site.  I looked around, not recognizing anyone.  “Jenna?” I heard a tentative voice say, and my head snapped towards it.  “Hi!” said a person who looked vaguely like the pictures of Chris on the site…and I realized the pictures were taken about 5 years and 50 pounds ago.  He stood and I walked over.  He looked me up and down and then said, “You’re even prettier than your pictures!”
“Umm, thanks,” I said, thrown off by the fact that he barely looked like his at all.  “You do too,” I said automatically, quickly following it with an awkward laugh when I realized my mistake. 
Chris immediately started laughing hysterically.  “Well, I’ve never been told I was pretty before!” he said, laughing away. 
“Me neither,” I said.  I actually smacked my forehead when I realized what an idiot I sounded like.  I left my palm over my eyes for a couple seconds and hoped that Chris was laughing too loudly to have heard. 
“Anyway, I ordered you a drink!” Chris told me.  Everything he said sounded like he was incredibly excited about it.  “I didn’t actually know what you liked, so I just got you a gin and tonic, because everyone likes those!”
Everyone except for me, apparently.  I smiled politely and took a sip, forcing my face to stay neutral as I swallowed the disgusting concoction.  “How considerate,” I said, putting the drink down.
“You’re welcome!  I also ordered us an appetizer!  I hope you like shrimp!”  This date had only been going on for 5 minutes and it was already the worst date of my life. 
“Oh, great,” I forced out.  “You really thought of everything.  So, um, what do you do again?”
“I work in finance!” he replied proudly.  I tried my best to be polite and friendly, and he gladly droned on about his job for the next 20 minutes.  While he mentioned his 6 figure income several times, he didn’t even notice I’d barely touched my drink or the appetizer. 
When he got up to use the bathroom, I signaled to our waiter, who came over.  I shoved a $10 bill and my mostly full gin and tonic at him and said, “Can you take this and bring me back a vodka soda with a lime?  If you can make it happen before he comes back, you’ll be my hero.”  He gave me a knowing grin and hurried over to the bar.  I watched him lean over the bar and talk to the bartender, then he slid behind the bar and made the drink himself.  He returned with the drink and my change, which I waved off.  Just as he left the table, I saw Chris approaching from the bathroom.  I took a long drink out of my glass, relieved that it didn’t taste like Christmas. 
“Did you miss me?” he asked, sitting back down.  He didn’t wait for me to respond, just started laughing.  I took another long drink, closing my eyes so I didn’t roll them.  Now that I enjoyed my drink, it was gone within minutes.  “Waiter!” Chris called, spotting my empty glass.  Waiter!” He waved at our waiter, making me cringe.  When he approached, looking bemused, Chris said, “Could you bring the lady another G and T?”  G and T?  Really?  I gave the waiter a weak smile as he strode away.
“You won’t have to wait long,” he assured me.  “People understand the importance of working quickly around people like me.”
“People…like you?” I asked, unable to hide my confusion.
He smiled at me and patted the back of my hand like I was a child.  “Important people who work with large sums of money,” he said slowly.  I wasn’t sure what had happened in the bathroom, but I did know that he went in brimming with enthusiasm and came out as a condescending asshole. 
Our waiter returned quickly, and a sip of the drink told me it was another vodka soda.  I gave him a grateful smile and he winked at me before he turned to leave.  “See?” Chris said.  “People don’t keep me waiting.”  He gave me a pointed look when he said that, and I sputtered a little in surprise.  Then he grinned widely and said, “I’m just kidding with you, Jenny!”
“It’s, uh, Jenna, actually…” I said. 
“That’s what I said,” he told me, waving his hand dismissively. 
“Oh,” I replied.  “I thought—“
He cut me off, saying, “But you don’t have to think tonight!  Tonight is for fun!  Oh, let me tell about this time that my coworker lost a major account and I…” I tuned out as he blabbered on and on about work. 
When I finished my drink, I yawned.  “Oh man,” I said, interrupting his 17th story about how an incompetent coworker screwed something up and he saved the day.  “I’d better get going.  Can’t drink anymore, I need to drive myself home.”
“Well, why didn’t you take a cab or something?” he asked, looking really perplexed.  “I’m thinking about getting a driver, actually.  Did you know that—“
“Really, I need to go,” I said firmly, interrupting him again.  I pulled out my wallet.  “Here, let me—“
It was his turn to interrupt me.  “Don’t be silly!” he said.  “I never let a beautiful girl pay for her drinks.”
“Of course,” I replied.  I considered just throwing some cash on the table and running, but decided this was not a hill I wanted to die on.  I just wanted to get the hell out.  “Thank you,” I said, forcing a smile.  “Have a good night.”
“Wait,” he said, looking confused as I stood up.  “I can walk you out.  When can I see you again?”
I shook my head and said, “Thank you for the drinks, but I’m not interested in seeing you again.”  I took advantage of his obvious shock and hurried towards the door.
I got to my car safely, but as I was unlocking the door I heard someone call, “Hey, wait a sec!” I yanked the door open quickly, ready to make my escape, before I realized the voice didn’t sound a thing like Chris’s.  I turned cautiously, and saw our waiter hurrying after me.  I waited to see what he wanted.  He slowed when he approached me.  “My name is Ryan, I don’t work in finance, and I make a mean vodka soda,” he said, winking.  Then he shoved a cocktail napkin into my hand, turned, and jogged back towards the restaurant.
I stood in the cold, not sure how to react.  Finally, I got into my car, turned on the light, and smoothed out the crumpled napkin.  Scrawled across it was “Ryan” and a phone number.  He was cute, but he looked young.  I tossed the napkin into my purse for now and headed for home.

Sunday, June 12, 2016

Chapter 20 (6/12/16)

I was still so upset about Kevin’s comments that I didn’t even want to respond to Mike’s text the next day, telling me that he’d had a lot of fun and was looking forward to seeing me again.  I felt so bitter and angry that I was worried it would come out sideways in my response to him.   Instead, I spent the morning finding someone to come replace my water heater.  The earliest someone could come out was early afternoon, so I did a little more unpacking and organizing to pass the time until he came.  4 hours and several hundred dollars later, I had a functioning (and non-leaking!) water heater.
Running had taken a backseat to packing, and the now significant amount of snow on the ground didn’t help motivate me either.  Snow aside, I admitted to myself that as much as I hated it, running sort of regularly had really helped my mood.  I checked the weather and saw a high temperature of 9 degrees today.  I didn’t think I could run in weather that cold, but I bundled up and went for a quick walk.  Despite the cold, it was a bright, sunny day and my short time outside did help cheer me up a little.
When I got home, I took a shower to warm up, heated up some leftovers for dinner, and texted Mike back, suggesting we go out Tuesday or Wednesday.  I already had a date with Dan on Monday.  I had completely skipped the early 20s “dating around” phase and was sort of embarrassed to admit that I got a bit of a thrill out of the idea of dating two men at the same time.  I had no intentions of being shady about it, and both of them knew I wasn’t interested in anything serious, but it still gave me that exciting “doing something wrong, could get caught” feeling.  Ridiculous, right?  I know.

When Monday rolled around, I was tired and cranky from my less than ideal weekend.  I kept to myself at work and had to give myself a pep talk before getting out of my car at the restaurant where I was meeting Dan. 
He was, as usual, already there.  He was one of the only men I’d ever dealt with that was consistently early.  He stood as I came in and greeted me with a smile and a kiss on the cheek.  He looked especially good in a dark blazer, crisp white shirt, and no tie.  “You look fancy,” I commented, checking him out.
“Thanks,” he said, chuckling.  “Big meeting today at work.  I had to impress the important people.”
“And did you?” I asked, cocking an eyebrow.
He shrugged.  “I sure hope so.”  Then he changed the subject.  I thought it was a little weird that he didn’t tell me what the meeting was about, but I quickly forgot about it when our server came to get my drink order. 
After dinner, I invited Dan over to see my new house.  I took him on the tour of the house, conveniently ending it in my bedroom.  “Very nice!” Dan said sincerely.  “I’m glad you finally found something.” 
I stood near my bed, willing him to come over.  Instead, he lingered in the doorway.  Finally, I gave up and walked over to him, sliding my hands up his chest and linking them behind his neck.  He grinned at me and kissed me, and I slipped my hands into his hair as I kissed him back.  We kissed for several seconds, then he pulled away, kissed my forehead, and said, “Want to watch a movie or something?”  Then, while I stood there and stared at him, confused, he turned and started for the stairs. 
I huffed out a frustrated breath, and he turned, puzzled.  “What?” he asked.
“Nothing,” I replied, turning off my bedroom light and following him to the stairs.  “Do you have a movie in mind?”

“Why do you even bother continuing to see him?” Kelly asked me the next day.  We were having lunch together early in the afternoon.
“I don’t know, but it’s not like I can pressure him to have sex with me,” I exclaimed, much too loudly for the small restaurant we were in.  More than one head swiveled my way in surprise as I blushed. 
“I’m not telling you to pressure him to have sex with you,” she replied.  “But if that’s what you want and he’s not into it, then you guys want different things and you should probably just move on.”
“Dating is hard and stupid,” I grumbled.
“Not if you move on from the guys that there’s no point in dating,” she pointed out cheerfully.  “And anyway, you said you had a great time with Mike, right?”
“I did,” I confirmed.  “And we’re going out again tomorrow.”
“Focus on that.  See, dating isn’t that hard.”
I rolled my eyes.  “Easy for you to say,” I replied.  I changed the subject and she didn’t push it, which I was grateful for because I was irritated.  No, irritated wasn’t the right word.  Discouraged.  It seemed silly (even to me) to be discouraged about dating already, but I hadn’t been anticipating that I wouldn’t actually enjoy dating.  The idea of getting to know someone enough to be truly comfortable with him was daunting.  And I knew that I wasn’t to that point yet, and had no intentions of doing any serious or exclusive dating, but it was still hanging out in the back of my head, taunting me.  I managed to put it out of my head and enjoy the rest of my lunch with Kelly.

Despite my complaints of the day before, I found myself a little giddy before my date with Mike on Wednesday.  I’d had such a great time with him on our first date, and I was definitely looking forward to this one.  I went straight from work to the restaurant we were meeting at—after touching up my makeup in the bathroom at work, of course. 
I arrived first and waited in my car until he texted me to let me know he was there.  I got out and found him on his way to the door.  “Hi!” I greeted him cheerfully. 
“Hi, Jenna,” Mike replied, smiling warmly.  “It’s good to see you.” 
I grinned.  “It’s good to see you too,” I said.  “I’m glad we were able to see each other tonight.”  When I originally suggested tonight, Mike thought he had a work obligation, but soon realized it was actually on Thursday. 
He pulled open the door to the restaurant and held it for me, and I gratefully stepped inside.  It was seriously cold today.  “I’m completely over winter,” I complained as I shed my winter gear at the table we’d been shown to.   “Can you find me a new house somewhere warm?”
Mike looked at me with mock horror.  “Do you have any idea how hard it was to find the one you bought?” he asked jokingly.  “I’m never going to be your realtor again.”
I laughed.  “And I thought I was going easy on you,” I teased him.
We bantered back and forth until our drinks arrived, and then we settled into calmer conversation.  Mike still had me laughing throughout dinner, and I loved his sense of humor. 
When we finished, he asked me, “Do you want to go grab a drink somewhere?”
I shook my head.  “How about heading back to my place for a little bit instead?” I asked hopefully.
Mike grinned.  “I’d love to,” he replied.