Friday, September 16, 2016

Chapter 52 (9/16/16)

Happy weekend all, and hello bonus post :) 
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When I got home from work the next day, I took a shower, shaved, moisturized, and then for good measure, put on a pretty lacy bra and panty set.  Over it, I pulled on a pair of leggings and a long sleeved shirt, intending for the pretty underwear to be a bit of a surprise beneath the otherwise boring clothes.
I had spent nearly an hour at work today surfing the internet and looking at recipes, trying to figure out something to make that might impress Ryan.  I realized that was a recipe for disaster (bad pun absolutely intended) and decided to stick with a delicious and simple chicken and vegetable pasta dish that I could make in my sleep.  I’d rather do a good job on something unimpressive than botch something impressive. 
Somehow, I managed to time everything pretty perfectly and was almost done when my doorbell rang.  I abandoned the kitchen and opened the door for Ryan.  He promptly held out both a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of wine.  “What is this?” I asked.
“Well,” he said with smirk, stepping inside, “I can’t be sure, but from an initial examination it appears to be a bottle of wine and some very pretty flowers.”
I rolled my eyes.  “I agree with your assessment, Sherlock, and I thank you for your kind gesture.  Even though it’s completely unnecessary.”
“Well, back when I used to date, I always got flowers for them when I fucked something up.  I’m breaking that connection,” he informed me as he followed me into the kitchen. 
I laughed and set the flowers down so I could get a vase out.  I handed it to him.  “Can you take care of those for me while I finish this up?” I asked, gesturing at the stove.  “And I will gladly benefit from the fruits of your labor to make up for past idiotic behavior.” 
“Oh good, because I was starting to think you didn’t appreciate it,” he teased me.
I turned and made eye contact with him and told him seriously, “I absolutely do.  I just feel weird when men are nice to me, so I guess I act like a dick about it.”
He blinked in surprise and then said, “That was…enlightening,” he said.  Then he frowned and said, “And kind of awful, actually.”
“Well I didn’t say it to make you feel bad for me,” I said matter-of-factly.  Being blunt and to the point made me feel less weird about being vulnerable and saying things that were probably a little awkward.  “I just said it so you’d know.”  Then I turned back to the stove. 
Ryan didn’t say anything for a moment, and I fully expected the evening to take a weird turn.  I sighed softly to myself, wondering why I couldn’t just keep my mouth shut and appreciate things.  Then he said, “Do you have a corkscrew?” I pointed him towards the drawer that had it and he opened the wine, found glasses, and poured for us both.  He set my glass down next to the stove, then leaned against the counter, took a long drink of his wine, and said, “I know you’d like to move on and pretend that conversation didn’t happen, and I’m fine with that, but first I want you to know that I appreciate you telling me that.” 
“Thank you,” I said quietly.
“You’re very welcome,” he replied, leaning over and kissing my cheek.  “Now, feed me because I’m starving and this smells delicious.
I gave him a dirty look.  “Go sit down, bossy.”
“You’ve never complained about it before,” he said innocently.
“That’s because the only time you’re ever bossy is…” I trailed off, narrowing my eyes at him. 
He laughed. “In bed?” he asked with a smirk.
“Go sit down,” I said again.  With one last smirk and a wiggle of his eyebrows, he took his wine and sat down at my small table.  I got out plates and silverware and brought our dinners over to the table. 
Ryan inspected his plate.  “Doesn’t smell like poison,” he said, sniffing it.  “But the best poison never does.”
“Oh, and where did you learn so much about poison?” I asked him drily.
“A poison expert never shares his secrets,” he said seriously. 
I rolled my eyes, for at least the fifth time since I’d let him in.  “Of course he doesn’t.”
Ryan took a bite of his dinner and then nodded appreciatively.  “This is really good.”
“Thank you,” I replied.  “I told you I wasn’t an idiot in the kitchen.”
He chuckled.  “I never thought you were.”
When we finished dinner, Ryan helped me get the plates in the sink, but I waved off his offer to help me wash dishes.  “I’ll wash them later,” I said.
“Later when?” he asked.  “Because I have plans for you for the rest of the evening.”
“Oh, do you?” I asked coyly, smiling at him.  “What kind of plans?”
“These kind of plans,” he replied, crossing the distance between us in three steps, grabbing my face firmly, and kissing me hard.  I gripped the sides of his shirt tightly for several seconds before sliding my hands up his stomach and chest, then wrapping one around the back of his neck and pushing the other up into his hair.  I yelped in surprise when he picked me up and tossed me over his shoulder.  “We’re going upstairs,” he informed me.
“I am perfectly capable of walking upstairs, you know,” I pointed out from my unfortunate inverted position.
“Where’s the fun in that?” he asked, taking the opportunity to smack my ass.  “I kind of like you like this.”
When we got up to my room though, things were suddenly different.  He set me down carefully on my feet and kissed me gently, his tongue barely parting my lips.  “Are you nervous?” he asked, looking at me.
“Why?”
“I can feel your heart pounding,” he replied, pressing his hand tighter against my back. 
“Maybe a little,” I replied.  “It feels different this time.”
“Bad different?”
“No,” I said quickly.  “Not at all.  Just…different.  I don’t know.  More serious?  Like it means something?  It never meant anything before.  Or, at least it wasn’t supposed to.” 
Ryan let me ramble away, and then when I stopped, he kissed me.  “I think it’s good different,” he said decisively after pulling away.  Our eyes met briefly before we kissed again. 
We peeled clothes off as we kissed, and when I was down to my bra and panties Ryan took a step back and looked me up and down.  “Damn,” he said.  “I’m one lucky motherfucker.”  Then he pushed me down onto the bed and climbed on top of me, easily freeing me from my bra before concentrating his attention on my breasts. 
I moaned as he teased my nipples with his lips and tongue and eventually his teeth.  My hips seemed to grind against his of their own accord.  When he finally slid a hand into my panties, I groaned and moved my hips furiously against his fingers, trying to get some relief.  It had been far too long since we’d had sex.
“Point taken,” he murmured in my ear, sliding my lacy thong down my legs and positioning himself between them. 
“Yes,” I hissed when he pushed into me.  He worked himself slowly into me, sucking and nibbling at my neck the entire time. 
I have no idea how he managed to last as long as he did, but three positions and 4 orgasms later, I curled up against him, exhausted.  “I don’t think I could come again if I tried,” I groaned. 
“Is that a challenge?” he asked, his hand trailing up my inner thigh.
“Not really,” I replied, but I gasped when he began to stroke lightly between my legs.  “Ryan, I don’t think…” but I trailed off as he continued, switching between tight circles and smooth up and down strokes.  As it turned out, I was wrong, and Ryan was certainly up for the challenge. 
“That’s what I thought,” he said smugly, pulling me tightly against him. 
“I appreciate your competitive spirit,” I mumbled sleepily, burying my face in his chest.  He laughed.  I closed my eyes, listening to his heart rate slow back to normal as we lay tangled together in the dark. 
Several minutes later, I forced my eyes open.  I was so sleepy.  “Are you staying?” I asked him. 
“I’d like to,” he replied.  “If that’s okay with you.”
“As long as you’re ready to behave yourself so we can both get some sleep,” I said, laughing.  “I have to work tomorrow, and I assume you do too.”
“I don’t, actually,” he said.  “But I’ll keep my body parts to myself so you can sleep.”
I got up to go to the bathroom and brush my teeth, but I glad to climb back into bed with Ryan when I was done.  I had never been a cuddly sleeper, but I didn’t even mind too much when he rolled onto his side and wrapped his arm around me.  I didn’t have long to think about it, because I quickly dropped off to sleep.

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Chapter 51 (9/14/16)

Surprisingly, I barely even noticed Ryan was gone the next few days.  My dance classes started back up that evening, and then I had plans with Emma and Grace on Friday, and Erica and Kelly on Saturday afternoon.  I was too busy to miss Ryan.
I had been seeing Grace every couple weeks since the cookout that started this whole Ryan mess, and I was really glad to have her back in my life.  I hadn’t seen Emma, Rayne, Sam, or any of the guys since the cookout, though.  I wasn’t too sad about not seeing the guys (except maybe Justin), but I wouldn’t have been mad about spending a little more time with Rayne, Sam, and Emma. 
So I was definitely looking forward to having dinner with Grace and Emma on Friday.  We met at a newer restaurant after work and got drinks and a couple appetizers to share right away.  “Okay,” Emma said, looking at me as soon as our drinks came.  “First of all, I haven’t seen you in forever and that’s not okay.  Second of all, I need to clear something up and find out what the heck happened between Kevin and your guy at Justin’s party.”
“What?” I asked, confused. 
“Charlie said that the guy you brought—I’m sorry, I can’t remember his name—got in Kevin’s face and was a total dick to him.  And seeing as that guy—what was his name?”
“Ryan,” I said.
“Yes!  Seeing as Ryan was basically the nicest man I’ve ever met in my life, I know that what Charlie said Kevin said happened wasn’t true.”
I rolled my eyes.  “It’s definitely not true.  Kevin confronted me just before we left and was pretty nasty to me.  When I tried to walk away from him, he grabbed me and Ryan wandered over, told him perfectly calmly that he didn’t appreciate Kevin putting his hands on me, and then we left.” 
“I don’t think even Kevin knows his lies from his truths anymore,” Grace said.
“What truths?” Emma replied.  “I don’t think he has any.”  They both looked at me for some reason and I shrugged.  “Well, I definitely don’t want to make you talk about your ex-husband all night.  Tell us about this guy!”
I cautiously told them a little about Ryan.  At this point it had been over a month since the party and so I had to be careful about what I said, since Ryan had told people we were dating at the time.  I felt shady as hell, especially given the conversation we’d just had, but with their connection to Kevin, I didn’t need anything weird getting back to him.
I made it home at a fairly reasonable time still, and fell right into bed.  I definitely was not fully recovered my night of little sleep earlier in the week.  I envied people who could survive on 5 or 6 hours of a sleep a night (or less!) but I was definitely more of an 8-9-or-maybe-even-10 girl.
On Saturday I went shopping with Erica and Kelly.  Erica was doing a little redecorating and I picked up a few fun things for my house too.  Then we had a long dinner together.  It might sound silly, but I had been so worried they’d stop hanging out with me after my divorce.  Not because of anything I did, but we had gone through a lot of life stages together.  We’d all gone to college together, lived in the same dorm, and then later in the same apartment.  We’d gotten into serious relationships around the same time, and gotten married around the same time.  I suddenly didn’t have any life things in common with them, and I had been terrified that would have a major impact on our friendship.  I definitely felt silly now for thinking that.
By Sunday afternoon, I was starting to get antsy for Ryan to be back.  I felt ridiculous, and also a little confused.  How had I gone from not wanting anything to do with him to wanting him back right now?  Of course, I had never actually not wanted anything to do with him, but I had been completely prepared to walk away from him.  I distracted myself by going for a run, cleaning my house, and taking a nap, which seemed like an excellent use of a Sunday!
I was able to distract myself quite effectively Monday and Tuesday, but when I saw a text from him light up my phone screen on Wednesday afternoon, I actually got butterflies.  “You are a ridiculous crazy person,” I muttered to myself, making myself finish my current task before I read the text. 
Five minutes later, I grabbed my phone and unlocked the screen.  Ryan’s text said, “Guess who’s back?  Will you come over tonight?  I’ll make dinner.”  I grinned as I responded, “I’d love to.  What time do you want me?”  I went back to work as I waited impatiently for a response.  Finally, my screen lit up again.  “Want you for what? ;)  There are a few things I’d love to have you for right now… but for dinner, how about 6:30?”  “6:30 is perfect,” I replied.
The afternoon dragged now that I was looking forward to seeing Ryan tonight.  It didn’t help that work was slow and I didn’t have enough to keep me occupied.  When I knocked on the door at 6:30 sharp, it took a minute for Ryan to open the door, and when he did, he had a large knife in his hand. 
“I will take that hint and go,” I said, pretending to turn and leave.
Ryan laughed.  “You’d better get that sexy ass back here, because I missed it.”
“Just my ass?” I asked, pouting as I stepped inside.
“Absolutely not,” he replied, leaning down to kiss me.  “I missed all of you.  And I’m happy to see you.”
I followed him into the kitchen, where he set the knife down and then wrapped his arms around me.  I sunk into the familiar hug, leaning into his chest and burying my face in his partially unbuttoned, wrinkled dress shirt.  “I’m happy to see you too,” I said, when we separated.  “Even if you do look like a homeless person.”  I regarded his dress shirt, athletic shorts, and black dress socks skeptically.  “This is a new look for you, and I’m not so sure about it.”
“Yeah, I was in the process of changing, and then realized I needed to start dinner, and I was going to finish changing at some point but then I just kind of forgot.”  He yawned and shrugged.  “I’m really jet lagged.”
“I bet.  You know you didn’t have to cook tonight, right?”
“You don’t have the knife, you don’t get to tell me what to do,” he replied, pointing the knife at me from across the island. 
I snorted.  “I wouldn’t dream of telling you what to do,” I replied.  “You wouldn’t listen anyway.  Even if I did have the knife!”
“That’s probably true,” he replied, grinning. 
We kept up our typical banter while he finished up dinner.  He poured me a glass of wine and wouldn’t let me help, so teasing him was the least I could do.  He wasn’t as quick with his wit as usual, and I could tell he was tired. 
Despite Ryan’s obvious jetlag, dinner was amazing.  He had also made dessert, which I barely had room for, but was glad I ate anyway.  “Have I ever told you how hot it is when guys are good cooks?” I asked him as I helped him clean up.
“Yeah, I think a couple times,” he replied with a laugh.  He came up behind me as I was rinsing plates to put them in the dishwasher and wrapped his arms around my waist.  “But you can tell me as many times as you want, I don’t mind,” he said softly, before dropping his lips down to kiss and nibble on my exposed flesh where my neck and shoulder met.  I groaned softly and leaned back against him, and he reached forward and turned off the water.  I let him nip along my neck until he put his hands on my hips and turned me around. 
Just as our lips were about to meet, he yawned.  And then he yawned again.  “Ryan,” I said gently, pushing on his hips to separate us a little.  “I think maybe your evening would be better spent sleeping.”
“I’m fine,” he insisted stubbornly.  He lowered his lips again, nudging my head to the side so he could kiss along my neck.  I let him until he yawned again. “Okay, maybe you’re right,” he groaned into my shoulder.  “If I’m too tired to focus on the beautiful woman in front of me, I should probably get some sleep.  But I’m looking forward to someday having sex with you again.”
I laughed.  “Well, I’m looking forward to that to, but I’d prefer not to have sex with the zombie version of you.  How about this?  I’ll cook dinner for you tomorrow.  All you have to do is show up and be impressed by my culinary skills.”
He raised a skeptical eyebrow.  “You can cook?”
I gasped indignantly.  “Of course I can cook!” I said.  “I mean, if I had to choose a better cook between the two of us, you win.  But I’m not going to inadvertently poison you, or feed you flavorless mush.”
“I’m just teasing you, Jenna,” he said, chuckling.  “I’d love for you to make dinner for us.”  He pressed a gentle kiss against my forehead, which made me want to melt into a puddle on the floor.  
“I like that,” I said.
“What?” he asked.
I blushed furiously, not even realizing I’d spoken out loud.  “Nothing,” I replied. 
“Knock it off and tell me,” he said.
Blushing even brighter, I mumbled, “When you kiss my forehead.”
“Well, I don’t know why you’re embarrassed, but that’s good to know,” he said, before gently tilting my chin up and kissing me lightly on the lips.  “Alright, get out of here before I drag you to bed with me anyway and embarrass myself when I’m too tired to get it up.”
I laughed and shook my head.  “You’re…something else.”
“And you like it,” he replied, smirking.
“Yeah, something like that,” I said.  One more kiss and I was out the door.

Sunday, September 11, 2016

Chapter 50 (9/11/16)

My second date with Ryan was even better than the first.  He ended up getting stuck at work late, so instead of dinner like we’d planned, we ended up going out for dessert and a drink.  Ryan was apologetic, clearly feeling terrible for the change in plans.  “I almost never get stuck late at work, it figures that it would happen tonight.”
“It’s not a big deal,” I reassured him.  “We still got to see each other, so it works!”
We were seated in a cozy corner of a small Italian restaurant downtown, sharing two desserts and a bottle of wine.  I had been worried that the easy, low effort time we’d spent together would be lost now that we were doing this.  Not that I wanted things to be lazy, but part of what I loved about spending time with Ryan was how easy it was.  I was relieved that so far it had been low-key and just as effortless (minus my nervousness during the first date) as always. 
“So where are you going tomorrow?” I asked him. 
“Austria,” he replied.  “Graz, to be specific.  We have a partner there.”
Ryan had done plenty of traveling since we started sleeping together, but this was the first time I actually knew where he was off to.  I had never cared before.  “What do you do while you’re there?” I asked curiously.  I was slightly ashamed to admit that I had no actual idea what he did at work.
“Depends on the trip.  On this one I’m going to be in charge of updating some contracts and fixing a problem on one of the deals they’re working on.  Not one of the more exciting trips I’ve been on lately.  At least it’s a shorter one, I’ll be back next Wednesday.” 
“So you’ll only forget about me for a week, then?” I teased him. 
“Who knows, maybe I won’t forget about you at all,” he replied, smirking.  “I guess we’ll find out!”
I gave him a mock dirty look and he started laughing.  “I haven’t yet forgotten about you while I’ve been working.  Not a single trip since we started spending time together.”
“What?” I asked, surprised.  “What do you mean?”
“Exactly what I said,” he replied with a shrug.  I stared at him for several seconds, neither of us speaking.  “Don’t look at me like that,” he said finally, laughing.  “Come on, Jenna.  Don’t act shocked that I have real, human feelings.”
“You pitched yourself as feeling-less,” I reminded him. 
“No,” he argued.  “I pitched myself as someone with fewer than average feelings, at least up until that point of my life.”
“Semantics!” I responded with a chuckle, throwing my hands up. 
He grinned and countered, “An important distinction.”
We argued playfully until I finally admitted defeat and gave up.  We stayed at the restaurant until it closed at 10, and then wandered down to the lakewalk.  We wandered for a little while before finding a bench in a quiet spot and sitting.  Ryan put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close to him in the chilly early fall air.  We sat there for way too long, talking and teasing each other until I could barely keep my eyes open. 
“I’d better get you home,” Ryan said, after I yawned for the 4th time in less than 2 minutes. 
“Yeah, some of us have to get up for work in the morning,” I replied. 
“Hey, I haven’t heard you begging to go home.  It’s not my fault my flight doesn’t leave until tomorrow afternoon,” he retorted.  He stood and offered me a hand, pulling me up and into him.  He wrapped his arms around me and smirked at me.
“This doesn’t look like getting me home,” I pointed out sassily. 
“Can’t blame a guy for wanting to spend all night with you, can you?” he asked.  He took advantage of my upturned face and kissed me softly.  I freed my arms from where they were trapped between us and wrapped them around his neck, kissing him back eagerly.  A little voice at the back of my mind nagged me to get home, and I knew I’d be exhausted the next day, but I didn’t care. 
The lakewalk was deserted this late on this cool evening, and we kissed uninterrupted for several minutes.  Finally I untangled myself from him and frowned.  “I really should get home,” I said, disappointed.  “I’m going to be really sorry tomorrow.” 
“You’re right,” Ryan said.  “Let’s get going.”  We walked back towards his car hand in hand and I couldn’t help but be a little freaked out about how much I wanted to stay here with him all night.  I took a deep breath and swallowed my fear, forcing myself to just enjoy the moment.  Luckily, the fear was fleeting, and by the time we got back to his car, I was just really tired. 
I knew it was late, but I was surprised to see it was after midnight.  “I’m blaming tomorrow’s poor work performance on you, just so you know,” I informed Ryan as he pulled out of his parking spot and headed towards my house. 
“I’d be more inclined to blame it on your negative attitude,” he joked.  “You should try believing in yourself instead.”
“I believe in my ability to hurt you very badly,” I responded seriously. 
He laughed.  “Good thing I believe in your lack of desire to actually hurt me.”
“Only because I’m too lazy,” I shot back, trying not to laugh. 
“Of course.  It has nothing to do with not wanting to mar this handsome, chiseled face, right?”
I snorted.  “Oh, I could do plenty of damage without even touching your face, trust me.”
He laughed and shook his head as he parked in my driveway.  I yawned again, glanced at the clock on the dash, and groaned.  It was so late. 
“My desire to invite you in is great, but my desire to not hate myself tomorrow for only getting 3 hours of sleep is greater,” I said to Ryan as we walked up to my door together. 
He chuckled and laid a hand on my lower back.  “I can support that life choice,” he said.  “Even though I also have a great desire to come in.” 
Despite the late hour, we weren’t in any hurry to say goodbye, and that was obvious.  Ryan leaned against the wall next to my front door and pulled me close to him.  “Thanks for being flexible tonight and understanding about work,” he said, before he pressed his lips to my forehead. 
“I had fun,” I said.  “It was actually one of the best dates I’ve ever been on.”
“Oh, really?” he asked. 
I blushed, having spoken without thinking.  “Yeah, I guess,” I replied.  “I mean, it was low-key, but there was wine and dessert and a handsome man, so I guess that’s pretty much all I require.”
“You’re so easy,” he replied, drawing an indignant glare from me.  “And pretty,” he amended.  “And sleepy,” he added as I yawned.
“I know, I need to go to bed,” I admitted.  I stood on my tiptoes and looped my arms around his neck, tipping my head up to kiss him. 
“Mmm, I’ll let you, but only because I know I won’t hear the end of it if I don’t,” he murmured after we parted.  “I’ll give you a call when I get back okay?  Don’t miss me too much, but if you do, you can try calling me.  It’s 7 hours ahead there, so email or text might work better.”
“I’m impressed that you know that off the top of your head,” I said. 
He shrugged.  “I’ve got a few stored in my memory,” he replied.  “Now go get some sleep before I can’t help but invite myself in.”
I laughed and we said goodnight.  Once I got in bed, though, I couldn’t seem to fall asleep.  It was well after 3 before I finally nodded off.

I barely made it out of the house on time in the morning.  I was firmly in denial when my alarm went off.  I hit snooze far too many times and finally stumbled out of the house covered in dry shampoo and regret. 
I got a text from Ryan at 9:30 that said, “Mornin’ beautiful.  Hope you’re not too tired today!”  I frowned at my phone, surprised to see a text from the man who hates to text.  I sent back, “Couldn’t fall asleep :( Not enough coffee in the world.  I could use some more anyway, but I have to wait until lunch.”  Not even in my desperation could I force myself to drink the gross instant stuff we had in the breakroom.  I was trying to make do with a Coke from the vending machine, but it wasn’t cutting it.  “Poor baby.  I’ll think of you while I’m napping on the plane,” he responded almost immediately. “You’re playing with some serious fire.  But since I’m nice, I still hope you have a good flight!” 
My work phone rang and I turned my attention away from my phone.  I didn’t get a chance to check it for awhile, and then forgot about it.  I was working on some mindless tasks when the bell alerting me that someone was coming in rang.  I pasted a smile on my face and looked up to greet whoever was coming in.  I was surprised to see it was Ryan. 
            “Hi,” I said, confused.  “What are you doing here?”
“Well, I’m glad to see you too,” he replied, laughing.  He held out a to-go coffee cup from my favorite coffee place downtown.  “Vanilla dirty chai with skim milk,” he said, leaning against the counter as I stood to take it. 
“How did you…” I racked my brain, trying to figure out how he would know my favorite coffee place or my go to drink. 
He just grinned.  Suddenly, Rachael stuck her head out of her office and said, “You’re welcome!” and then disappeared again.  I looked at Ryan curiously.
“Rachael was helpful,” he admitted, shrugging.  “Anyway, I can’t stay.  I have to stop at the office before I head to the airport, but I thought the least I could do is drop off some caffeine after I kept you out so late last night.”  He flashed me a brilliant smile and winked.  Why did he actually look sexy when he winked?  It wasn’t fair.
“I’ll walk you out,” I said.  I popped my head in Rachael’s office.  “Cover the phones for a sec, please?” I asked her.  She nodded and grinned at me. 
I walked out with Ryan and followed him to his car.  “Thank you,” I said, “You really didn’t have to.”
“I know,” he replied.  “I wanted to.” 
We said goodbye, and I stood in the parking lot for a minute after his SUV pulled away.  I was disappointed he was leaving, and that’s when I was realized that I was in deep.