Ryan was leaving for work again
later that week, so we scheduled our date for the next day (Monday). My dance classes were currently on a break
between sessions anyway, so it worked out well.
I was nervous all day long on
Monday. Rachael noticed, and I filled
her in at lunch. “Why are you nervous
about going on a date with a guy you’ve been banging for months?” she asked,
confused.
“Because this is not just banging,
Rach,” I said. “This is like…an actual
date. That could potentially precede an
actual relationship. And I am
terrified.”
“At least you already know how big
his dick is,” she said casually. I
almost spit out my mouthful of food. “I
mean, that accounts for at least 90% of my nervousness before a date.”
“You are a horrible person,” I
informed her, laughing. “This just feels
like a big deal.”
She nodded. “Are you excited, at least? You can be both nervous and excited, you
know.”
“I am,” I said. “I think it will be weird to go on a date
with a man I’ve been having sex with for months, but I am excited.” The fact that I could finally admit that out
loud was a relief. I was still
terrified, but I could finally see how awesome this could be.
“And at least if you do something
weird or awkward, which you probably will, he already knows you and knows to
expect it!” she exclaimed, grinning.
“I don’t know why I’m friends with
you,” I joked, shaking my head. “Now I’m
thinking about all the awkward things that could potentially happen, and it’s
not good!”
“You’re pretty enough that it’s
adorable when you’re awkward, not weird,” she said, trying to reassure me. It made me laugh, so I guess it was
effective.
I was able to focus on work for the
rest of the day, but as soon as I left the office to run home and get ready for
my date, I felt like I was going to throw up.
I went all out, curling my hair and putting on some fun makeup. I took extra time perfecting my eyeliner; it
took me three tries on my left eye because my hands were shaking.
I ended up being ready about 10
minutes before Ryan was supposed to show up.
“Well now what am I supposed to do?” I muttered to myself. I didn’t need to sit here and stew in my own
anxiety. I tried to read for a little
while but ended up reading the same page over and over because I wasn’t
processing any of it.
Finally, 3 minutes before he was
supposed to be here, my doorbell rang. I
had to stop myself from flinging the door open from nerves. Instead, I put my hand on the knob, took a
deep breath, and opened it carefully.
“Hi,” Ryan said, grinning at me.
“My god, you look beautiful.” His
eyes traveled the length of my body and returned quickly to my face. “Wow.”
“Stop it,” I said, giggling
nervously. “I look exactly the same as I
always have.”
“And you’ve always been beautiful,”
he said, stepping inside and dropping his head to brush his lips against my cheek. “These are for you,” he continued, holding a
huge bouquet of flowers out to me, his eyes sparkling.
“You didn’t,” I said,
laughing. The bouquet was gorgeous, full
of late summer flowers and succulents in greens, reds, oranges, and golds.
“Wow, these are amazing.” I giggled
again, silently cursing myself for being a nervous giggler. I turned away from Ryan and took them into
the kitchen, digging a vase out and filling it with water. I almost dropped it and stopped to take a
steadying breath.
“Here,” he said, gently taking the
vase from me and setting it on the counter.
He reached for the flowers and I watched him as he deftly unwrapped them
and arranged them in the vase. “You
okay?” he asked, turning back to me, his eyes searching my face.
“I’m really nervous,” I
admitted. “I’m not sure why.”
He smiled warmly and said. “I am too, actually."
His admission helped me relax a
little, and I truly looked at him for the first time since I opened the
door. “Oh,” I said. “You look really good too. I love dark blue on you.” His not-quite-navy striped button down was
just a shade darker than his eyes. He’d
asked me to dress casually, but I had no idea what we were doing. I had settled on a pair of skinny jeans,
booties, and a thin, fitted, slightly low cut sweater. “Is this okay for what we’re doing?” I asked,
gesturing at myself.
“It’s perfect. Bring a jacket,” he replied. I frowned.
It was starting to get chilly at night, but not really chilly enough to
need a jacket. “Trust me,” he said. Shrugging, I reached into my small coat
closet and pulled out a light jacket, holding it up for his approval. “That should work,” he declared.
“I’m so intrigued by your plans,” I
said, hoping to get more information out of him.
“Well, you’ll have to be intrigued
for awhile still,” he said, grinning.
“Dinner first, I’m starving.”
“That I can get on board with,” I
agreed.
I was still nervous as Ryan drove
us to a casual but delicious restaurant down by the water. He kept up a steady stream of chatter, which
helped a little. When we got out of the car, he slid his arm around me and
said, “Hey, knock off this nervous shit.
I know I’m really, really ridiculously good looking, but deep down I’m just
a normal, nice guy.” I looked up at him
and he was smirking at me, and I just shook my head and laughed.
“You are…something,” I replied,
snuggling into his side as we walked towards the door.
“I think that might be the nicest
thing you’ve ever said to me!” he teased me.
I laughed. “Actually, that might be true,” I
agreed.
I relaxed over the course of
dinner. We ate outside on the
restaurant’s patio, which had a great view of the harbor. We easily fell into our familiar pattern of
teasing each other and joking, and by the end of dinner, all my anxiety about
this date was gone.
After dinner, he drove us down to
one of the docks at the harbor. “What
are we doing?” I asked, confused.
“Taking a ride,” he replied. He grabbed my jacket out of the backseat
where I’d tossed it and we got out. He
led me down the dock and we stopped in front of one of the slips.
“I didn’t know you had a boat,” I
said, still sort of confused.
He smirked at me and said, “There
are a lot of things you don’t know about me yet.”
“Oh really?” I asked, cocking an
eyebrow at him.
He grinned and said, “Well,
probably. But actually, this is my
uncle’s boat. He lets me take it out
sometimes. When I told him I had a beautiful
woman to impress, he handed the keys right over.”
“Of course he did,” I said with a laugh.
Ryan helped me into the boat and I
watched him as fiddled with ropes and things, getting it read. “It’s nothing fancy, but it gets the job
done,” he said as he worked. “Here, can
you hold this?” He handed me a piece of rope, which I held until he took it
away from me 30 seconds later.
“Thanks.”
I enjoyed watching him work. His movements were quick and sure. Eventually we were off, and I understood why
he wanted me to bring a jacket. I
quickly pulled it on and zipped it up. Ryan
guided the boat easily around, pointing out landmarks from a vantage point that
I hadn’t ever had, even in my 12 years of living here.
Eventually, he cut the engine and
the boat stilled, rocking gently with the slight motion of the lake on this
still evening. He moved to sit next to
me and I immediately nestled against him.
“Cold?” he asked softly. I
nodded. I should have brought a warmer
jacket. It was definitely chilly on the
water. He wrapped his arms around me,
pulling me firmly against his chest, and I fully relaxed for the first time
since I had woken up that morning.
We didn’t stay out on the water
much longer, and I was surprisingly disappointed when Ryan guided the boat back
into its slip. We were both quiet on the
drive back to my house, but it was a content, comfortable silence. Halfway there, Ryan reached over the center
console and wrapped his hand around mine.
I fought a strange, fleeting urge to pull away before I relaxed
again. It had been a very long time
since I’d held someone’s hand. If Ryan
noticed, he didn’t say anything.
He parked his SUV in my driveway
and we both got out. He walked me up to
the door and I stopped there, turning and leaning against it. I grinned at him. “Is this the part where you stand here too
long, awkwardly trying to decide if it’s okay to kiss me?” I asked.
“I think so,” he replied, smirking
back at me.
I laughed. “I had fun, Ryan. Thank you.”
“I have no idea if that’s sincere
or part of the script,” he replied, cocking an eyebrow.
I smacked his arm lightly. “I meant it, you idiot!” I said
indignantly.
“Oh, okay,” he replied, still
smiling. Impulsively, he leaned forward
and I turned my head, so his lips landed on my cheek. We both cracked up. It wasn’t that
funny, but we couldn’t stop laughing.
When we finally got it together, Ryan wiped a tear off his cheek and
said, “Thank you for making this date just as awkward as any first date should
be.”
“It was my pleasure,” I said,
grinning at him
Ryan leaned down to kiss me again,
and this time I turned my face up towards his.
Our lips met and he slid his hand up my arm, over my shoulder, and
brought it to rest against my jaw. We
kissed for several seconds, and though we’d kissed many times before, this one
felt different.
When our lips parted, I leaned into
him and he wrapped his arms around me.
We stood there silently for well over a minute, until Ryan finally
kissed the top of my head and softly asked, “So, do I get the honor of taking
you out again?”
“I think you’ve earned it,” I said,
leaning back so I could look up at him.
“Yeah?” he asked, smiling. “Congratulations to me.”
I giggled and leaned back against
him, letting him run his hands up and down my back for several more seconds. “I
leave on Thursday,” he told me. “Can I
see you Wednesday?”
“Wednesday works for me,” I
replied.
I thought about inviting him in,
then decided against it. He seemed to be
thinking along the same lines, because he said, “Okay, I’m going to get going
then.” I nodded, taking a step
back. He waited while I unlocked my door
and got the light on inside. “Goodnight,
Jenna,” he said, one side of his mouth twitching up in an adorable half smile.
“Goodnight,” I said softly. He kissed me twice more: briefly on the lips,
then on the forehead, and then he stepped back, watching until I shut and
locked the door behind me.