Chapter 60 (11/5/16)

Guys, I am so sorry.  I wish I could explain to you how much work has been sucking the life out of me lately. My little random trip did wonders but it didn't take long to get back into the crazy.  I miss interacting with you all in the comments, I miss posting regularly (and on time!) and I miss enjoying writing.  I'm going to go back to just posting whenever I can for awhile.  I'm sorry.  I know so many blogs have been ending or disappearing, and I don't want to let you guys down.  Please follow me on Blogger or Bloglovin' so you know when I'm posting!  I'll do my best to get back to a spot where I can post on a schedule, but for now, this will be better than not being able to post when I say I will.  Thank you all for understanding and being patient!

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When my alarm went off in the morning, Ryan groaned and croaked, “Make it stop.” 

“Sorry,” I muttered sleepily, reaching for my phone.  I climbed over him to search for it in my purse on the floor.  On my way, I got my foot tangled in the blanket and tumbled off the side of the bed, landing on the floor with the blanket on top of me in a heap.

I laid on the floor laughing at myself while my alarm continued to chime from my purse, which was just out of reach.  Ryan’s sleepy face appeared over the edge of the bed, one eyebrow cocked.  “Are you serious?” he asked, grinning tiredly at me.  “You are almost 30 years old and you just fell out of bed.  Do you realize that?”

“Yes,” I said, giggling hopelessly.  “I’m laying on the floor tangled in a blanket, I’m pretty sure I realize exactly what happened.”

Ryan sat up, swung his legs over the edge, and leaned down.  In seconds he had untangled the blanket, pulled it off me, and drawn me to my feet.  “Now, turn that terrible thing off, please.”

“Aw, and here I thought you were just being helpful,” I said, pretending to pout as I dug my phone out of my purse and turned the alarm off. 

“I’m always helpful,” he mumbled, his face already pressed back into the pillow. 

I snorted and then noticed I had a text from my boss.  I frantically checked the time to make sure I wasn’t late.  It was only 7:30, I had plenty of time.  I opened the text.  “Water main break up the street from construction.  Our road is closed.  We’re closed today, but plan to work tomorrow regardless of if road is open or not.”

“Guess what?!” I said excitedly, bouncing back into bed and straddling Ryan’s hips. 

He cracked one eye open at me in half-asleep irritation.  “You’re far too loud and cheerful this morning,” he grumbled.  “What?”

“I don’t have to go to work today!” I told him, managing to lower my voice to a more reasonable morning volume.

“No?” he asked, perking up a little.  “That’s good news.  Get back in here and go back to sleep with me then.”  He tried to tug me off of him but I wriggled away.

“We can go back to sleep in a little while,” I said, wiggling my eyebrows and tugging the blanket down.  Ryan groaned again.  I thought I was a terrible morning person, but he was even worse.  He stopped groaning when I settled between his legs and started nibbling on his inner thigh.  “Should I stop?” I asked teasingly.

“No,” he replied, sounding much more awake.

After a round of languid sex, we settled under the blankets and fell back to sleep.  I awoke about an hour later to Ryan shifting and fidgeting.  “Are you a small child?” I asked him, shifting away from him as his knee bumped the back of my leg.

“Sorry,” he replied.  “I guess it’s time to get up.”  Now, after an hour-long nap, I was the one protesting being awake.  “C’mon,” he prodded me.  “I’ll buy you breakfast.” 

The promise of food perked me right up and I got up, showered quickly, and got dressed.  After breakfast, we walked around downtown, wandering in and out of the fun shops and galleries there.  Give our weird relationship so far (if you could even call it that), we really hadn’t done a lot of “dating” things, and it was fun spending the day with him in public. 

“So you’re finally publicly claiming me,” I teased him as we walked down the sidewalk hand-in-hand. 

“Finally?” he asked with a laugh.  “Want to call up some of my coworkers?  I claimed you long before you would have claimed me.  I can’t help it that you love my cooking so much you never want to go out.  Admit I, sex and my cooking is all you really want here.”

“Well…” I said, smirking.  Ryan growled in mock outrage and tried to pull his hand from mine.  I grinned and wrapped my arm around his.  “No, I guess I kind of like you.  Or something.”

Ryan started laughing and freed his arm so he could wrap it around my shoulders.  “Kind of?  Or something?  Considering the alternatives, I’ll take it.” 

I was about to respond when my phone started ringing, startling us both.  I pulled it out of my purse and frowned at it.  It was my mom.  “I should answer,” I told Ryan.  My mom didn’t often call me, and she never called me during the workday.  “Hello?”

“Oh, hi,” she responded, sounding surprised.  “I wasn’t expecting you to answer.”

“I have the day off,” I told her.  “What’s up?”

“Well, I was calling to leave you a voicemail full of motherly guilt.  You haven’t come to see us since Christmas, and we miss you.”

“Well, you’re right, and I miss you guys too.  But you know you’re always welcome to come up and see me, right?” I responded.

“Sure, and we want to plan a trip up soon.  But in the meantime, you should come down for your grandmother’s birthday.”

My mother’s guilt was something I could avoid without feeling too bad.  But my grandmother’s birthday?  That was hard to say no to, and my mom knew it.  “Next weekend?” I asked, after flipping through my mental calendar.

“Next weekend,” my mom replied.  “We’d love to see you, sweetheart.”

“I’ll be there!” 

We said goodbye and I looked up at Ryan, who was giving me an amused look.  “Successful parent guilt trip?” he asked. 

“Yes,” I groaned.  “I mean, don’t get me wrong.  Going down for my grandmother’s birthday is the right thing to do.  But I haven’t seen any of them since Christmas, and things got a little awkward then.”  I recounted the story of how my parents hadn’t actually filled in any of our extended family members and my grandma had asked where Kevin was.  “I had a bit of a tantrum and the whole rest of the evening was weird,” I admitted.  “I’m not proud of it.”

Ryan cringed sympathetically at the story and helpfully said, “Well, it can’t get much worse than that then, can it?”

“I sure hope not,” I replied.   But…could it?

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Post up later this week

Hi all!  I took a spontaneous weekend trip this weekend and didn't write :)  I will have your post this week, but it will be later in the week.  I'm hoping for Wednesday but Thursday might be more likely.

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Chapter 59 (10/24/16)

The next 10 days sucked.  Ryan and I were locked in a fierce phone tag battle, and each time I saw a missed call from him and tried to call him back, only to get his voicemail, I grew more and more frustrated.  Just a couple days before his return, he called while I was at work.  I answered as soon as I could, but had just missed it.  When I called him right back, it went immediately to voicemail and I slammed my phone down on my desk in frustration.  The battery cover popped off, angry at my mistreatment, and I sighed heavily. 

Later that same day I got a text from him that said, “Sorry we can’t seem to connect.  I’m so busy, but I miss you and I can’t wait to get home and see you.”  I texted him back immediately that I missed him too and sent a little inside joke we had.  I hoped that would prompt a response back, but heard nothing from him for the last two days he was gone.

When I finally heard from him again, it was a text in the middle of my workday on the Tuesday he got back.  It said, “I can’t wait to see you, is it too late to take you to lunch?”  I had just gotten back from lunch and told him so, to which he replied, “Then will you come over after work?  Cooking isn’t going to happen tonight, but we can order something.”  As frustrated as I was that I had barely heard from him for almost two weeks, I was positively giddy at the idea of seeing him tonight.  “I’ll pick something up on my way,” I replied. 

I was antsy for the rest of the day.  My boss came out to chat during a rare lull late in the afternoon.  We’d been so busy the last couple weeks for some reason.  I’d been working a lot of overtime, which was not very typical for us in general.  “So, Ryan comes home this week, right?” she asked me, reaching to pluck a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup out of my candy dish.

“He’s home now,” I said.  “He got home a couple hours ago.” 

“Get out of here, then,” she told me.  “Go see him.” 

“But…” I protested half-heartedly.  I glanced at the clock.  It was only 3:30, I had another two hours left of my day. 

“But nothing,” she replied.  “I’ve been watching you stare at the clock since lunch, and you’ve been working a ton the last couple weeks.  Go.  Now, before I change my mind!”

She didn’t have to tell me again.  I grabbed my purse, thanked her, and booked it out of there.  You know, before she changed her mind.  On my way out, I texted Ryan that I was out of work early and asked when he wanted me to come over.  He didn’t respond, so I went home to get ready.

I packed a bag with clothes and makeup for the next day and checked my phone.  No response from Ryan yet.  I figured he was probably sleeping and I didn’t want to wake him up, so I sat down and flipped on the TV, deciding I’d wait for awhile. 

I made it about 40 minutes before I couldn’t wait any more.  On the way, I stopped and picked up food.  When I got to Ryan’s house, I knocked, but no one answered.  I knocked again, and tried calling him.  Nothing.  I tried the door, and it was unlocked.  I put our food in the kitchen and quietly headed upstairs. 

His bedroom door was open slightly and through the crack I could see him, half under the blankets, sleeping peacefully.  Without a sound, I quickly slipped my clothes off and climbed into bed with him.  He woke up right away, confused and disoriented.  “Mmmph,” he grunted.  “I set my alarm.”

“I’m early,” I said softly.  “I got out of work early.  I tried to call, but then I just headed over.  I hope it’s okay.”

“More than okay,” he mumbled sleepily, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me against him.  “Give me a minute and I can get up.”

“No,” I said.  “Let’s not.”  He nodded and I pressed myself against him, tucking my head under his chin and threading one of my legs between his.  “I missed you,” I said, suddenly feeling emotional.  “I didn’t think it would be that hard.”

Ryan didn’t say anything for several seconds, and then he said, “I missed you, too, Jenna.  I tried to call, I’m sorry.  I was just so busy, and with the time difference, the times that I wasn’t busy were when you were at work or asleep.”  I didn’t say anything, just pressed my face harder into his collarbone.  “Jenna?” Ryan prodded gently.

“It felt like you forgot about me,” I said honestly.  I knew how ridiculous the words sounded, but I wasn’t accusing him.  I was just telling him the truth.

He untangled himself from me and moved until we made eye contact.  “I thought about you every day,” he said firmly.  “I wouldn’t lie to you about that.”

“I know,” I said, and I believed him.  “I just…I didn’t think it would be that hard.  I don’t even know what we are.”

He elected to not say anything about my last statement, which was probably a good choice.  That was a conversation that needed to be had, but not at this moment.  Instead, he moved closer and kissed me.  I kissed him back, desperate to feel connected to him again after not seeing or talking to him in almost two weeks.  One of his hands ran all the way down my back and cupped my ass before bending my leg so my knee pointed up.  He slipped his hand between my legs and stroked gently, making me gasp and arch against him. 

We didn’t really bother with foreplay.  Ryan pulled one of my legs up and over his and pushed into me.  I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his chest as he thrust slowly, grinding his pelvis into mine at the deepest part of each thrust.  I was a moaning, writhing, gasping mess by the time I came, shaking against him.  He only made it a few more seconds before he finished. We laid there still tangled together, unmoving, for several minutes before I slowly untangled myself and rolled onto my back. 

Our food forgotten, we laid in his bed for the rest of the evening.  A couple hours after I’d arrived, Ryan rolled onto his side and propped his head up.  “I don’t want you to think I’m ignoring what you said about not knowing what we are.  Whenever you want to have that conversation, you let me know, okay?”

“Okay,” I said, nodding.  Despite my frustrated exclamation earlier, I wasn’t ready.  Ryan didn’t push and I changed the subject, comfortable with where things were and grateful that Ryan wasn’t in a rush to change that.

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Chapter 58 (10/20/16)

“Well, well, it’s little Jenna,” Jacob said, flashing me a dazzling smile.  “Give me a hug.”

I hugged him back as I struggled for something to say.  Jacob was a former friend of Kevin.  They actually weren’t friends anymore because of me; Jacob had always had a bit of a thing for me and Kevin got too irritated at his inability to not be overly friendly to me. 

“Hi, Jacob,” I replied, my face still pressed into his chest. 

When he let me go, a slow smile crossed his face.  “Can I buy you a drink?”  

I glanced at my nearly empty glass and nodded.  He grabbed my hand and I trailed him to the bar.  When we got there, he introduced me to his friend Ron.  I ordered my drink and narrowed my eyes.  “What are you even doing here?” I asked him.  The last I’d heard he’d moved to St. Paul. 

“I’m so happy to see you too,” he replied with a laugh.  “Just back visiting some friends.  But that’s enough about me.  I heard through the grapevine that you’re a single lady.”

“Well…” I said.  I wasn’t sure how to answer that.  Was Ryan my boyfriend?  We hadn’t yet had that conversation, but I’d hardly consider myself single.  I didn’t think Ryan would consider me single either.

“Well?” he repeated, as the bartender returned with my drink.  “You’re not married anymore, right?”

“Right,” I replied. 

“So you’re seeing someone,” he said.

“Yes,” I agreed.  That seemed like a fair assessment. 

“But it can’t be too serious, or you would have just said no, you aren’t single.”

I frowned.  “I’m not single,” I replied firmly. 

He grinned at me.  “Alright,” he said.  “Well, congratulations on your divorce from that asshole, in any case.”

“Thanks, I think,” I responded, rolling my eyes. 

I glanced back towards the table.  I saw Grace making her way through the crowd towards the bar.  I waved at her, and she slipped between people and came over.  She looked at Jacob and Ron and said, “If they want to come sit with us, we can pull a couple chairs up.”

“We’d love to,” Jacob said before I could say anything.  “Ron?”

“Sure,” Ron said.  “Let me get another drink.”  He drained his drink and he ordered another.  He offered to buy one for Grace but she politely declined and ordered her own.  Ron eyed her up lecherously and I gave Jacob a hard look.  He shrugged like “nothing I can do,” and I pursed my lips. 

As we walked over to our table, I did notice him lean towards Ron and say something quietly.  Ron rolled his eyes but nodded, and he was nothing but polite to Grace after that.  Once back at the table, I surreptitiously checked my phone again.  This time, when I saw no response from Ryan, I googled what time it was where he was in France and discovered it was only 5am there.  I shoved my phone back in my purse, feeling silly for being so impatient for his response when it was so early in the morning there.

“So where’s the man tonight?” Jacob asked me.

“France,” I replied.  “For work.”

“What’s he do that takes him to France?” he asked curiously.

“International project management,” I said.  “I have no idea what that actually means, but that’s what he does!”

He regarded me carefully.  “Are you happy?”

“Yes,” I answered without hesitation.  “Very happy.”  And it was true. 

“Good,” he replied sincerely.  “I’m glad to hear that, Jenna.” 

Jacob and Ron hung out at our table for about an hour, and during that time, I had 3 drinks.  Jacob bought all 3, even though I made it very clear he wasn’t getting anything in return.  “Let me just buy a beautiful woman a couple drinks, would you?” he replied, rolling his eyes.  “I’m not looking for anything from you.  I absolutely would be if you were 100% single, but you’re not, so I’m just being nice.”  Not interested in turning down free drinks, I took them.  And by the time Jacob and Ron wandered away, I was feeling pretty wobbly.  A few more drinks over the rest of the night, and I had completely forgotten my impatience to hear back from Ryan.

I woke up in the morning in a strange bed.  I panicked slightly as I rolled over, trying to figure out where the hell I was.  My heart sank as I wondered what I’d done.  I was slightly relieved to find I was the only one in the bed, at least.  The pounding in my head wasn’t helping anything.

As soon as I stepped out of the unfamiliar bedroom, I sighed in relief.  I knew exactly where I was then: Grace’s house.  I heard voices from the kitchen so I stumbled in that direction.  Emma and Grace were sitting at the kitchen table and I could smell coffee.  I plopped into a chair and groaned.

Without a word, Grace stood up and poured me a cup of coffee.  She put it in front of me and then brought me a glass of water too.  “Tylenol?” she offered.  I nodded miserably.  I cringed when I heard the cabinet bang shut.  I gratefully swallowed the pills offered by Grace. 

“Why am I here?” I asked.

“You guys were both so drunk I didn’t want to deal with getting you home to two different places,” Grace explained.  “So I just brought you here.”

“Makes sense,” I said.  “I don’t think I’ve ever been inside your guest room.  I was a little freaked out because I had no idea where I was until I came out of the room.  I’m glad it was here!”

For having been just as drunk as I had been the night before, Emma seemed just as fresh as Grace.  I was way too old to drink like that.  I took a deep breath and asked, “Did I do anything stupid last night?”

Grace and Emma both laughed, which made me nervous.  “No, not really,” Emma said.  “Unless you count falling off your chair and then falling again outside the bar.”

I groaned.  “Well, I guess it could have been worse.  That’s probably the best I could have hoped for!”  I paused and then asked, “Did I drunk call Ryan?” 

“No, but he called you,” Grace said.  “You missed the call and called him back and he didn’t answer.  You were sad, but you didn’t do anything stupid.”

“Thank god for small miracles,” I replied.  I spotted my purse on the counter and grabbed my phone out of it.  Ryan hadn’t called back.  I dropped the phone back into my purse and sat back down.  At the rate I was going, I wasn’t going to make it through the 10 more days Ryan would be gone.

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This week's post

Hi all, I'm really sorry.  I WILL have a post up this week but it will probably be Wednesday or Thursday.  I know I left you on a cliff hanger and I am so sorry!  I'm at this weird place where it's hard to write during the week because work is kicking my ass, but it's also hard to write on the weekends because some fun things are happening in my personal life.  So I do beg your patience and forgiveness!

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