Chapter 61 (12/3/16)

Hi all, I'm very sorry for the delay.  I've been having a bit of writer's block, along with being crazy busy with work.  I will try very hard to not let another month pass between posts, yikes!  Thank you all for your patience!

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Ryan and I wandered a little more, then on the way back we stopped at the grocery store to pick up some things so we could make dinner together later.  After the grocery store, we swung by my house so I could grab some different clothes.  By the time we got back to Ryan’s house, he was yawning.  “The first day or two that I’m back are rough,” he said apologetically.  “I’m all sorts of thrown off.”

Ryan crawled back into bed to take a nap while I showered and put on the change of clothes I’d picked up.  When I was done in the shower, I tried to pass through Ryan’s room silently to go downstairs and entertain myself for awhile so he could sleep.  Apparently I failed.  “Come lay with me,” he requested sleepily when I was about even with the bed. 

“Are you sure?” I asked quietly.  “I don’t want to keep you awake.”

“Yes,” he replied.  To prove his point, he lifted the blankets up, giving me a place to scoot in.  I tugged my jeans off and slipped into bed next to him, sighing happily when he wrapped his arms around me.  “Better,” he said before burying his face against my neck.  And then, “You smell clean.”

“That’s because I am clean,” I replied with a chuckle.  “I just spent 15 minutes in your shower.”

“15 minutes?” he muttered.  “Why do women take so long in the shower?”

“Because we have hair to wash and condition,” I retorted.

He snorted.  “I have hair.  I don’t take 15 minutes.”

“You know what I meant,” I said, rolling my eyes even though he couldn’t see them.  “Shhh, you’re tired.  Go to sleep.”

“You care so much about my well-being,” he replied, chuckling.  Then he yawned, and I smiled smugly to myself.  “I can see that look,” he said to the back of my neck, making me laugh.

Eventually he settled down and dozed off.  I surprised myself by also falling asleep.  We spent most of the afternoon napping and then laying in bed talking.  The only reason we eventually got up was because Ryan was hungry. 

“Are you a kitchen control freak?” I asked him teasingly as we got stuff out of the fridge to make the pork chops we’d bought. 

“I have no idea,” he responded seriously.  “I’ve never cooked with someone else before.” 

“Wait, really?” I asked, surprised.  “Never?”

He shrugged.  “I mean, probably with my mom when I was younger, but that’s it.  I was never married, remember?  I’ve never lived with anyone, I haven’t had a lot of opportunities to cook with someone as an adult.”

As it turned out, he wasn’t even a little bit of a kitchen control freak.  We worked well together in the kitchen.  I leaned against the counter and watched Ryan as he finished up the pork chops.  “What?” he asked, giving me a weird look when he caught me watching him.

“I like watching you cook,” I replied, shrugging.  “It’s sexy.”

“It’s sexy?” he chuckled.

“Yes!” I said defensively.  “It is.  You make it all look so easy, and there’s just something really attractive about a man who is cooking dinner for me.”

“You helped,” he pointed out.  But he grinned and kissed me softly on the lips, then on the forehead.  My heart rate picked up a little and I grinned back at him.  “And I guess I can see that because you looked pretty cute chopping those onions.”

I stood on my tiptoes and tipped my head up so he could kiss me again.  My hands moved on their own, one wrapping around the back of his neck and the other fisting in his shirt.  We kissed for several seconds before Ryan finally pulled away.  “Well, as much as I’d like to continue that, I need food.”

“Right, food,” I said, smoothing my shirt out and tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.  “Food is good.”

Ryan laughed.  “You’re so cute when you get all flustered,” he said gently, reaching past me to open a cabinet and pull out some plates.

“I’m not flustered!” I exclaimed.  I turned to grab a plate for myself and hit my head on the still-open cabinet door.  “Ow!”

“Not flustered huh?” Ryan asked, gently guiding my head out of the way and closing the cabinet door.  “Let me see.” 

“I’m fine,” I said, wincing as he gently tipped my chin up and inspected my forehead. 

“I don’t think it’s going to bruise,” he responded. He pressed his lips gently to my forehead next to the spot that had bounced off the cabinet door.  “Do you want some ice?”

“No,” I grumbled.  “I just want to eat.”  He looked at me carefully and then nodded, picking the plates up off the counter.  With his back to me, he snickered quietly.  “Did you just…laugh at me?” I demanded indignantly.

“Yes,” he said, trying to keep a straight face as the corners of his lips fought his efforts.

“Rude!” I said, turning red.  I glared at him for several seconds before bursting into laughter myself.  Relieved, Ryan stopped fighting his grin and laughed with me.

“Look, I’m sorry, but as long as you’re not hurt, that was really funny.”

“You’re lucky I like you,” I informed him once I had caught my breath.

He gasped in mock surprise.  “You like me?” he asked.  “That’s the nicest, most feelingsest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“’Feelingsest’ isn’t a word,” I replied, rolling my eyes. 

“I like you too, Jenna,” he said, grinning and putting a pork chop and some roasted potatoes on my plate.  “It’s okay, you can change the subject.  I know you will anyway,” he said.

“Just for that, I won’t!” I declared.  “I can sit here and talk to you all night about how much I like you.”

“I’m listening…”

I blushed slightly.  “I’m hungry,” I said.

Ryan laughed and shook his head.  “Well, then I guess we should eat.”

“I guess we should,” I agreed.  We took our plates to the island and sat down.  I looked up shyly and said, “I do like you though.  Kind of a lot.”  Then I looked back down at my plate.  When I looked up again, Ryan smiled at me.  I smiled back and happily returned to my food.

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Chapter 60 (11/5/16)

Guys, I am so sorry.  I wish I could explain to you how much work has been sucking the life out of me lately. My little random trip did wonders but it didn't take long to get back into the crazy.  I miss interacting with you all in the comments, I miss posting regularly (and on time!) and I miss enjoying writing.  I'm going to go back to just posting whenever I can for awhile.  I'm sorry.  I know so many blogs have been ending or disappearing, and I don't want to let you guys down.  Please follow me on Blogger or Bloglovin' so you know when I'm posting!  I'll do my best to get back to a spot where I can post on a schedule, but for now, this will be better than not being able to post when I say I will.  Thank you all for understanding and being patient!

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When my alarm went off in the morning, Ryan groaned and croaked, “Make it stop.” 

“Sorry,” I muttered sleepily, reaching for my phone.  I climbed over him to search for it in my purse on the floor.  On my way, I got my foot tangled in the blanket and tumbled off the side of the bed, landing on the floor with the blanket on top of me in a heap.

I laid on the floor laughing at myself while my alarm continued to chime from my purse, which was just out of reach.  Ryan’s sleepy face appeared over the edge of the bed, one eyebrow cocked.  “Are you serious?” he asked, grinning tiredly at me.  “You are almost 30 years old and you just fell out of bed.  Do you realize that?”

“Yes,” I said, giggling hopelessly.  “I’m laying on the floor tangled in a blanket, I’m pretty sure I realize exactly what happened.”

Ryan sat up, swung his legs over the edge, and leaned down.  In seconds he had untangled the blanket, pulled it off me, and drawn me to my feet.  “Now, turn that terrible thing off, please.”

“Aw, and here I thought you were just being helpful,” I said, pretending to pout as I dug my phone out of my purse and turned the alarm off. 

“I’m always helpful,” he mumbled, his face already pressed back into the pillow. 

I snorted and then noticed I had a text from my boss.  I frantically checked the time to make sure I wasn’t late.  It was only 7:30, I had plenty of time.  I opened the text.  “Water main break up the street from construction.  Our road is closed.  We’re closed today, but plan to work tomorrow regardless of if road is open or not.”

“Guess what?!” I said excitedly, bouncing back into bed and straddling Ryan’s hips. 

He cracked one eye open at me in half-asleep irritation.  “You’re far too loud and cheerful this morning,” he grumbled.  “What?”

“I don’t have to go to work today!” I told him, managing to lower my voice to a more reasonable morning volume.

“No?” he asked, perking up a little.  “That’s good news.  Get back in here and go back to sleep with me then.”  He tried to tug me off of him but I wriggled away.

“We can go back to sleep in a little while,” I said, wiggling my eyebrows and tugging the blanket down.  Ryan groaned again.  I thought I was a terrible morning person, but he was even worse.  He stopped groaning when I settled between his legs and started nibbling on his inner thigh.  “Should I stop?” I asked teasingly.

“No,” he replied, sounding much more awake.

After a round of languid sex, we settled under the blankets and fell back to sleep.  I awoke about an hour later to Ryan shifting and fidgeting.  “Are you a small child?” I asked him, shifting away from him as his knee bumped the back of my leg.

“Sorry,” he replied.  “I guess it’s time to get up.”  Now, after an hour-long nap, I was the one protesting being awake.  “C’mon,” he prodded me.  “I’ll buy you breakfast.” 

The promise of food perked me right up and I got up, showered quickly, and got dressed.  After breakfast, we walked around downtown, wandering in and out of the fun shops and galleries there.  Give our weird relationship so far (if you could even call it that), we really hadn’t done a lot of “dating” things, and it was fun spending the day with him in public. 

“So you’re finally publicly claiming me,” I teased him as we walked down the sidewalk hand-in-hand. 

“Finally?” he asked with a laugh.  “Want to call up some of my coworkers?  I claimed you long before you would have claimed me.  I can’t help it that you love my cooking so much you never want to go out.  Admit I, sex and my cooking is all you really want here.”

“Well…” I said, smirking.  Ryan growled in mock outrage and tried to pull his hand from mine.  I grinned and wrapped my arm around his.  “No, I guess I kind of like you.  Or something.”

Ryan started laughing and freed his arm so he could wrap it around my shoulders.  “Kind of?  Or something?  Considering the alternatives, I’ll take it.” 

I was about to respond when my phone started ringing, startling us both.  I pulled it out of my purse and frowned at it.  It was my mom.  “I should answer,” I told Ryan.  My mom didn’t often call me, and she never called me during the workday.  “Hello?”

“Oh, hi,” she responded, sounding surprised.  “I wasn’t expecting you to answer.”

“I have the day off,” I told her.  “What’s up?”

“Well, I was calling to leave you a voicemail full of motherly guilt.  You haven’t come to see us since Christmas, and we miss you.”

“Well, you’re right, and I miss you guys too.  But you know you’re always welcome to come up and see me, right?” I responded.

“Sure, and we want to plan a trip up soon.  But in the meantime, you should come down for your grandmother’s birthday.”

My mother’s guilt was something I could avoid without feeling too bad.  But my grandmother’s birthday?  That was hard to say no to, and my mom knew it.  “Next weekend?” I asked, after flipping through my mental calendar.

“Next weekend,” my mom replied.  “We’d love to see you, sweetheart.”

“I’ll be there!” 

We said goodbye and I looked up at Ryan, who was giving me an amused look.  “Successful parent guilt trip?” he asked. 

“Yes,” I groaned.  “I mean, don’t get me wrong.  Going down for my grandmother’s birthday is the right thing to do.  But I haven’t seen any of them since Christmas, and things got a little awkward then.”  I recounted the story of how my parents hadn’t actually filled in any of our extended family members and my grandma had asked where Kevin was.  “I had a bit of a tantrum and the whole rest of the evening was weird,” I admitted.  “I’m not proud of it.”

Ryan cringed sympathetically at the story and helpfully said, “Well, it can’t get much worse than that then, can it?”

“I sure hope not,” I replied.   But…could it?

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Post up later this week

Hi all!  I took a spontaneous weekend trip this weekend and didn't write :)  I will have your post this week, but it will be later in the week.  I'm hoping for Wednesday but Thursday might be more likely.

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Chapter 59 (10/24/16)

The next 10 days sucked.  Ryan and I were locked in a fierce phone tag battle, and each time I saw a missed call from him and tried to call him back, only to get his voicemail, I grew more and more frustrated.  Just a couple days before his return, he called while I was at work.  I answered as soon as I could, but had just missed it.  When I called him right back, it went immediately to voicemail and I slammed my phone down on my desk in frustration.  The battery cover popped off, angry at my mistreatment, and I sighed heavily. 

Later that same day I got a text from him that said, “Sorry we can’t seem to connect.  I’m so busy, but I miss you and I can’t wait to get home and see you.”  I texted him back immediately that I missed him too and sent a little inside joke we had.  I hoped that would prompt a response back, but heard nothing from him for the last two days he was gone.

When I finally heard from him again, it was a text in the middle of my workday on the Tuesday he got back.  It said, “I can’t wait to see you, is it too late to take you to lunch?”  I had just gotten back from lunch and told him so, to which he replied, “Then will you come over after work?  Cooking isn’t going to happen tonight, but we can order something.”  As frustrated as I was that I had barely heard from him for almost two weeks, I was positively giddy at the idea of seeing him tonight.  “I’ll pick something up on my way,” I replied. 

I was antsy for the rest of the day.  My boss came out to chat during a rare lull late in the afternoon.  We’d been so busy the last couple weeks for some reason.  I’d been working a lot of overtime, which was not very typical for us in general.  “So, Ryan comes home this week, right?” she asked me, reaching to pluck a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup out of my candy dish.

“He’s home now,” I said.  “He got home a couple hours ago.” 

“Get out of here, then,” she told me.  “Go see him.” 

“But…” I protested half-heartedly.  I glanced at the clock.  It was only 3:30, I had another two hours left of my day. 

“But nothing,” she replied.  “I’ve been watching you stare at the clock since lunch, and you’ve been working a ton the last couple weeks.  Go.  Now, before I change my mind!”

She didn’t have to tell me again.  I grabbed my purse, thanked her, and booked it out of there.  You know, before she changed her mind.  On my way out, I texted Ryan that I was out of work early and asked when he wanted me to come over.  He didn’t respond, so I went home to get ready.

I packed a bag with clothes and makeup for the next day and checked my phone.  No response from Ryan yet.  I figured he was probably sleeping and I didn’t want to wake him up, so I sat down and flipped on the TV, deciding I’d wait for awhile. 

I made it about 40 minutes before I couldn’t wait any more.  On the way, I stopped and picked up food.  When I got to Ryan’s house, I knocked, but no one answered.  I knocked again, and tried calling him.  Nothing.  I tried the door, and it was unlocked.  I put our food in the kitchen and quietly headed upstairs. 

His bedroom door was open slightly and through the crack I could see him, half under the blankets, sleeping peacefully.  Without a sound, I quickly slipped my clothes off and climbed into bed with him.  He woke up right away, confused and disoriented.  “Mmmph,” he grunted.  “I set my alarm.”

“I’m early,” I said softly.  “I got out of work early.  I tried to call, but then I just headed over.  I hope it’s okay.”

“More than okay,” he mumbled sleepily, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me against him.  “Give me a minute and I can get up.”

“No,” I said.  “Let’s not.”  He nodded and I pressed myself against him, tucking my head under his chin and threading one of my legs between his.  “I missed you,” I said, suddenly feeling emotional.  “I didn’t think it would be that hard.”

Ryan didn’t say anything for several seconds, and then he said, “I missed you, too, Jenna.  I tried to call, I’m sorry.  I was just so busy, and with the time difference, the times that I wasn’t busy were when you were at work or asleep.”  I didn’t say anything, just pressed my face harder into his collarbone.  “Jenna?” Ryan prodded gently.

“It felt like you forgot about me,” I said honestly.  I knew how ridiculous the words sounded, but I wasn’t accusing him.  I was just telling him the truth.

He untangled himself from me and moved until we made eye contact.  “I thought about you every day,” he said firmly.  “I wouldn’t lie to you about that.”

“I know,” I said, and I believed him.  “I just…I didn’t think it would be that hard.  I don’t even know what we are.”

He elected to not say anything about my last statement, which was probably a good choice.  That was a conversation that needed to be had, but not at this moment.  Instead, he moved closer and kissed me.  I kissed him back, desperate to feel connected to him again after not seeing or talking to him in almost two weeks.  One of his hands ran all the way down my back and cupped my ass before bending my leg so my knee pointed up.  He slipped his hand between my legs and stroked gently, making me gasp and arch against him. 

We didn’t really bother with foreplay.  Ryan pulled one of my legs up and over his and pushed into me.  I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his chest as he thrust slowly, grinding his pelvis into mine at the deepest part of each thrust.  I was a moaning, writhing, gasping mess by the time I came, shaking against him.  He only made it a few more seconds before he finished. We laid there still tangled together, unmoving, for several minutes before I slowly untangled myself and rolled onto my back. 

Our food forgotten, we laid in his bed for the rest of the evening.  A couple hours after I’d arrived, Ryan rolled onto his side and propped his head up.  “I don’t want you to think I’m ignoring what you said about not knowing what we are.  Whenever you want to have that conversation, you let me know, okay?”

“Okay,” I said, nodding.  Despite my frustrated exclamation earlier, I wasn’t ready.  Ryan didn’t push and I changed the subject, comfortable with where things were and grateful that Ryan wasn’t in a rush to change that.

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Chapter 58 (10/20/16)

“Well, well, it’s little Jenna,” Jacob said, flashing me a dazzling smile.  “Give me a hug.”

I hugged him back as I struggled for something to say.  Jacob was a former friend of Kevin.  They actually weren’t friends anymore because of me; Jacob had always had a bit of a thing for me and Kevin got too irritated at his inability to not be overly friendly to me. 

“Hi, Jacob,” I replied, my face still pressed into his chest. 

When he let me go, a slow smile crossed his face.  “Can I buy you a drink?”  

I glanced at my nearly empty glass and nodded.  He grabbed my hand and I trailed him to the bar.  When we got there, he introduced me to his friend Ron.  I ordered my drink and narrowed my eyes.  “What are you even doing here?” I asked him.  The last I’d heard he’d moved to St. Paul. 

“I’m so happy to see you too,” he replied with a laugh.  “Just back visiting some friends.  But that’s enough about me.  I heard through the grapevine that you’re a single lady.”

“Well…” I said.  I wasn’t sure how to answer that.  Was Ryan my boyfriend?  We hadn’t yet had that conversation, but I’d hardly consider myself single.  I didn’t think Ryan would consider me single either.

“Well?” he repeated, as the bartender returned with my drink.  “You’re not married anymore, right?”

“Right,” I replied. 

“So you’re seeing someone,” he said.

“Yes,” I agreed.  That seemed like a fair assessment. 

“But it can’t be too serious, or you would have just said no, you aren’t single.”

I frowned.  “I’m not single,” I replied firmly. 

He grinned at me.  “Alright,” he said.  “Well, congratulations on your divorce from that asshole, in any case.”

“Thanks, I think,” I responded, rolling my eyes. 

I glanced back towards the table.  I saw Grace making her way through the crowd towards the bar.  I waved at her, and she slipped between people and came over.  She looked at Jacob and Ron and said, “If they want to come sit with us, we can pull a couple chairs up.”

“We’d love to,” Jacob said before I could say anything.  “Ron?”

“Sure,” Ron said.  “Let me get another drink.”  He drained his drink and he ordered another.  He offered to buy one for Grace but she politely declined and ordered her own.  Ron eyed her up lecherously and I gave Jacob a hard look.  He shrugged like “nothing I can do,” and I pursed my lips. 

As we walked over to our table, I did notice him lean towards Ron and say something quietly.  Ron rolled his eyes but nodded, and he was nothing but polite to Grace after that.  Once back at the table, I surreptitiously checked my phone again.  This time, when I saw no response from Ryan, I googled what time it was where he was in France and discovered it was only 5am there.  I shoved my phone back in my purse, feeling silly for being so impatient for his response when it was so early in the morning there.

“So where’s the man tonight?” Jacob asked me.

“France,” I replied.  “For work.”

“What’s he do that takes him to France?” he asked curiously.

“International project management,” I said.  “I have no idea what that actually means, but that’s what he does!”

He regarded me carefully.  “Are you happy?”

“Yes,” I answered without hesitation.  “Very happy.”  And it was true. 

“Good,” he replied sincerely.  “I’m glad to hear that, Jenna.” 

Jacob and Ron hung out at our table for about an hour, and during that time, I had 3 drinks.  Jacob bought all 3, even though I made it very clear he wasn’t getting anything in return.  “Let me just buy a beautiful woman a couple drinks, would you?” he replied, rolling his eyes.  “I’m not looking for anything from you.  I absolutely would be if you were 100% single, but you’re not, so I’m just being nice.”  Not interested in turning down free drinks, I took them.  And by the time Jacob and Ron wandered away, I was feeling pretty wobbly.  A few more drinks over the rest of the night, and I had completely forgotten my impatience to hear back from Ryan.

I woke up in the morning in a strange bed.  I panicked slightly as I rolled over, trying to figure out where the hell I was.  My heart sank as I wondered what I’d done.  I was slightly relieved to find I was the only one in the bed, at least.  The pounding in my head wasn’t helping anything.

As soon as I stepped out of the unfamiliar bedroom, I sighed in relief.  I knew exactly where I was then: Grace’s house.  I heard voices from the kitchen so I stumbled in that direction.  Emma and Grace were sitting at the kitchen table and I could smell coffee.  I plopped into a chair and groaned.

Without a word, Grace stood up and poured me a cup of coffee.  She put it in front of me and then brought me a glass of water too.  “Tylenol?” she offered.  I nodded miserably.  I cringed when I heard the cabinet bang shut.  I gratefully swallowed the pills offered by Grace. 

“Why am I here?” I asked.

“You guys were both so drunk I didn’t want to deal with getting you home to two different places,” Grace explained.  “So I just brought you here.”

“Makes sense,” I said.  “I don’t think I’ve ever been inside your guest room.  I was a little freaked out because I had no idea where I was until I came out of the room.  I’m glad it was here!”

For having been just as drunk as I had been the night before, Emma seemed just as fresh as Grace.  I was way too old to drink like that.  I took a deep breath and asked, “Did I do anything stupid last night?”

Grace and Emma both laughed, which made me nervous.  “No, not really,” Emma said.  “Unless you count falling off your chair and then falling again outside the bar.”

I groaned.  “Well, I guess it could have been worse.  That’s probably the best I could have hoped for!”  I paused and then asked, “Did I drunk call Ryan?” 

“No, but he called you,” Grace said.  “You missed the call and called him back and he didn’t answer.  You were sad, but you didn’t do anything stupid.”

“Thank god for small miracles,” I replied.  I spotted my purse on the counter and grabbed my phone out of it.  Ryan hadn’t called back.  I dropped the phone back into my purse and sat back down.  At the rate I was going, I wasn’t going to make it through the 10 more days Ryan would be gone.

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This week's post

Hi all, I'm really sorry.  I WILL have a post up this week but it will probably be Wednesday or Thursday.  I know I left you on a cliff hanger and I am so sorry!  I'm at this weird place where it's hard to write during the week because work is kicking my ass, but it's also hard to write on the weekends because some fun things are happening in my personal life.  So I do beg your patience and forgiveness!

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Chapter 57 (10/10/16)

“Come on,” Grace cajoled me over the phone.  “Girls night out.  Sounds like you could use a fun night out!  You could bring Erica and Kelly if you wanted!”

Grace had called to invite me out that night with her, Rayne, Sam, and Emma, and I was trying to get out of it.  I was crabby because I hadn’t really heard from Ryan, minus our brief phone call the night he left and a couple random text messages here and there.  Not wanting to be annoying, I’d decided not to try to call him.  He was obviously really busy.  Either way, it bummed me out to not hear from him.  I hadn’t thought I’d miss him this much, and at this point he’d only been gone for two days!

“Well…” I said, out of excuses.  “I mean, I could ask Erica and Kelly.  But I’ll come.”  A fun night out did sound like a good time. 

“Yay!” Grace cheered.  “I’ll even pick you up.  It’s going to be fun.”

After I hung up with Grace, I went upstairs to take a shower and get ready.  I texted Erica and Kelly, but with the short notice both already had plans.  Once I was ready (and looking pretty cute, in my opinion) I broke my “no selfies” rule, snapped a quick picture, and texted it to Ryan.  I actually had no idea what time it was where he was, so I had no idea if I could reasonably expect a response. 

I didn’t hear anything back from Ryan by the time Grace came to pick me up.  I shoved my phone deep into my purse, trying to relax and not worry about hearing from him.  After thinking about it a little more, I realized it was probably very, very early in the morning there, so I relaxed a little. 

Grace already had Sam in the car, so I got in the back seat and cheerfully greeted both of them.  “I’m so glad you decided to come!” Grace said as she backed out of my driveway. 

“Me too,” Sam agreed.

“Me three!” I said, with a laugh. 

We chatted on our way downtown.  It took forever for Grace to find a spot to park, and we ended up walking several blocks to where we were meeting Rayne and Emma.  They had beat us and we found them near the bar.  We grabbed drinks and found a table towards the back, pulling up one more chair to stick on the end.  I surreptitiously checked my phone to see if I had gotten a response from Ryan but I hadn’t. 

“Are you going to be doing that all night?” Grace asked me teasingly.  “You checked it about 7 times in the car!”

“Ryan is in France for work,” I explained.  “So apparently that means I obsessively check my phone.”

“Are you guys official yet?” Emma demanded eagerly.

“Well…” I replied, shrugging.

Emma made a face.  “What’s the hold up?  Is he commitment phobic or something?  You guys have been dating for ages!”

“No,” I said quickly.  “The hold up is me, actually.  And we were kind of casually on and off for a little while so it seems like it’s been longer than it really has been.”

“The hold up is you?” Rayne asked incredulously.  “Have you looked at that man?  He’s gorgeous!  And I saw the way he looked at you at Nate’s party.”

“I know, I know,” I said, holding up my hands in surrender.  “I’m just a little gun shy, I guess.  He’s okay with moving slowly, though.”

“Is he?” Emma asked skeptically.

“Emma!” Grace said, looking surprised.

Emma blushed.  “I’m just saying, I mean, a guy that looks like that…”

I narrowed my eyes a little.  Emma had a history of putting her foot in her mouth but this surprised me.  “We’ve talked about it, I assure you,” I replied curtly.  “And unlike some people, he’s trustworthy.”

Grace was glaring at Emma, Rayne was looking awkwardly around the bar, and Sam just looked surprised.  Emma tried to maintain her composure, but her face crumpled slightly.  “I’m sorry,” she muttered.  Then she said something that I couldn’t make out in the loud bar. 

“No one heard you,” Sam pointed out gently.

“Charlie and I are having some problems,” she said again, loudly.  Loudly enough that someone turned around and looked at her, making her blush and look down.  “I’m feeling a little bitter right now, I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.” 

The conversation quickly turned away from Ryan and I (which was a relief at that point) and onto Emma and Charlie, who had been arguing a lot because Charlie had been spending a lot of time hanging out with Kevin.  Apparently I wasn’t the only one that didn’t trust Kevin further than I could throw him (which was not at all), and Charlie was being a little shady about what they’d been up to.

I frowned sympathetically, because I understood her frustration.  “I have no actual evidence he’s doing anything inappropriate, but why can’t he just be honest then?” she exclaimed.  No one said anything for several seconds, and then Grace jumped in to soothe her with words that we probably all questioned. 

“I need another drink,” Emma said, finally breaking an awkward silence.  She stood up and strode to the bar, and I watched her walk over, feeling the terrible pit in my stomach all over again—this time on her behalf. 

As I let my eyes drift back to the women around me, I caught the gaze of an incredibly good-looking guy who was leaning against the bar.  We locked eyes and I felt a quick jolt of butterflies in my stomach because he was that attractive.  He grinned at me, turned and said something to the guy next to him, then pushed himself away from the bar and strode in my direction.  As he walked over, I gasped as I suddenly realized who he was.

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Well, crap.

Oh, you guys.  I'm so sorry!  I just completely spaced it.  Work has been really kicking my ass for the last several months.

I think I'm going to go back to posting once a week for now.  Usually things slow down into the fall, and we're working on a plan to decrease my workload significantly, so I hope I can pick back up soon.  As always, I will post bonus posts when I can.

I'll get something up this week, and then plan to post on Mondays, since the weekends are usually kind for writing time for me.

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Chapter 56 (10/3/16)

I saw Ryan twice more before he left on his next trip.  I spent the night before his trip with him, and I pouted that morning about him leaving.  This trip was nearly two weeks.  “You’d better miss me,” I teased him. 

“I will for sure,” he assured me.  “How could I not?  I mean, after last night…and this morning too...” he winked at me and smirked and I glared at him.  “I’m kidding!  Well, no, I’m not kidding, but I’ll miss more than that, I promise.”

“Good,” I said.  I couldn’t figure out when I had gone from being ready to just be done with him to demanding that he miss me, but I was definitely sad that he was going to be gone for almost two weeks.  I frowned again.  “Will you call me when you get back?”

“Jenna, I’ll call you while I’m there.  Stop being weird.”

“Sorry,” I said, blushing a little.

“Don’t be sorry, just don’t be weird,” Ryan replied, smirking.  “And I hate to interrupt this fond farewell, but you’re going to be late for work.”

“Shit!” I yelped, grabbing his wrist to look at his watch. “Damn it.  Okay, well, I’ll miss you, please have a safe trip, at least let me know you made it okay, alright?”

“I will,” he said.  He pulled me in for a hug and then kissed me.  I reluctantly untangled myself, kissed him one more time, and then hurried out the door.  As it was, I had failed to do my makeup or hair because I had lingered in bed with Ryan too long this morning.  Now I was going to be late too.

I took a deep breath before I started my car, because the last thing I needed was a speeding ticket or something in my rush.  I managed to get to work right on time, and I skidded breathlessly into the office just as my phone started ringing.  “Smithson Staffing Solutions, this is Jenna, how can I help you?” I asked, answering the phone while still standing.  From her office, Rachael smirked at me.  I rolled my eyes at her as I transferred the call to my boss. 

The day passed slowly and I was relieved to leave at the end of the day.  I got a text fairly late that night letting me know Ryan had made it safely to his destination.  He said he was going to call but wasn’t sure if I’d still be up.  I hit the phone icon next to his name and waited.  It rang 3 times and then he answered.  “Hey babe,” he said, right before he yawned.

“Hi,” I replied.  I suddenly felt really sad.  “I just wanted to say goodnight.”

“I’m glad you called,” he replied.  “I wasn’t sure if you were up or not.”

“I’m up,” I said.

He chuckled.  “I can tell.”

“Sorry, apparently I’m suddenly awkward as hell.”

“There’s no ‘suddenly’ about it, Jenna.  You're always awkward as hell.  Luckily you’re pretty enough that it’s adorable and not weird.”

I snorted.  “Thanks, I guess.” 

“You know I love your awkwardness.  And your adorableness,” he replied.

At the word “love” referring to anything about me, I froze.  Long enough for Ryan to ask, “Jenna?  Are you there?”

“Yes,” I replied.  “I am.  I’m so sleepy though, I’ll let you go.”

Ryan hesitated and I could tell he didn’t believe me.  But he didn’t push it, and just said, “Alright.  Sleep well Jenna.”

“Thanks, you too.  Though I guess it’s probably not bedtime there, huh?”

“It’s not, but I’m going to take a nap,” he replied. 

“Okay, well have a good nap,” I said.  I felt so awkward still and wished desperately for the easy comfortable feeling I used to have around Ryan. 

“Goodnight, Jenna,” he said.

“Goodnight,” I replied. 

I stared at my phone for several seconds after hanging up, before shaking my head, plugging it in, and turning off the light.  These next couple weeks were going to be interesting.

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Chapter 55 (9/27/16)

When I woke up in the morning, Ryan was still fast asleep next to me.  It was chilly in his room, and I wasn’t quite ready to get out of bed.  I snuggled up to him, and he shifted in his sleep, wrapping his arm tighter around me.  I dozed off again, sleeping for another 30 minutes or so.  This time when I woke up, I was too hot.  I laid in bed for a few more minutes, but knew I wouldn’t be falling back asleep.  Ryan didn’t look like he was anywhere near getting up.

I carefully extricated myself from Ryan’s arms and slipped out of bed.  Half of my clothes were downstairs, and I didn’t want to put any of them back on.  Instead, I picked up a hooded sweatshirt from the floor, sniffed it suspiciously, and then pulled it over my head.  It smelled like Ryan, but was passably clean.  I spotted a pair of gym shorts, folded neatly, on top of a pile that looked like clean laundry that needed to be put away and pulled those on.  I had to pull the drawstring as tight as it went to keep them from slipping down my hips, but they worked. 

Quietly, I left his room and wandered downstairs.  I was starving, and I wasn’t disappointed by the contents of his fridge.  I started pulling things out and wandering around his kitchen, finding the pans that I needed.  I tried to do everything as quietly as possible, not wanting to wake Ryan.
            I was about halfway through making some eggs, French toast, and bacon for both of us when Ryan wandered downstairs.  He yawned as he walked into the kitchen, then rubbed his eyes sleepily.  He was adorable first thing in the morning, with sleepy eyes and mussed hair.  It was so contrary to his typical well-put-together persona.  “Good morning,” I said, grinning at him.

“Coffee first,” he replied.  I’d already turned on his single cup coffeemaker and it was ready for him.  He paused to kiss me on the cheek as he pulled a mug out. 

“And I thought I wasn’t a morning person,” I said, chuckling.

He swore softly as he struggled with something on the coffee maker, then he said, “My sleep is so messed up from all my traveling.  I actually got up for a little while after you fell asleep last night.  I couldn’t sleep and I didn’t want to wake you up.”

“Really?  I didn’t even notice.”

He laughed.  “You were out cold.  And good morning, by the way.  I can’t wait to eat that bacon.”  He grinned at me, looking more awake already.

“Just the bacon?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.  “I’m making us an entire breakfast feast, and all you care about is the bacon?”

“Well, considering the bacon smell is what lured me out of bed, yes,” he replied.  “I could have stayed there another hour.”

“Plates?” I asked, opening and closing a random cabinet.  Ryan opened the cabinet behind his head and grabbed two plates.  “There’s no reason we can’t go back to bed after we eat,” I pointed out.  “I just happened to be starving.” 

“I will happily accept the by-product of your hunger,” he replied, wrapping an arm around my waist from behind.  “Is there supposed to be a point where I’ll be able to keep my hands off of you?” he asked, pausing to kiss along my neck.  “Because at the rate I’m going, I won’t ever get anything done if you’re around.”

“We went from food to sex in less than a second,” I said, laughing.  “Impressive.  Let me eat, and then you can do whatever you want with those hands.” 

Ryan managed to keep his hands off me long enough for us both to eat breakfast.  His kitchen had been sparkling clean before I’d started cooking, so I insisted on cleaning up as well.  He helped me, protesting the entire time that he would just do it later.  I ignored him, washing all the dishes and wiping down the counters.  As I was finishing up, Ryan started massaging my shoulders.  “Thank you for making breakfast, and for cleaning up,” he said, leaning forward to kiss my cheek.  I leaned back into him, sighing happily as his fingers gently worked at the tight muscles in my neck.  “Can I interest you in a nap?”

I laughed, then yawned, as if just the thought of sleep had made me tired again.  “Yes, actually,” I replied.

We went back upstairs and Ryan cocked an eyebrow at me as I shed the clothes I’d stolen from him before getting back in his bed.  “You’re kind of cute in my stuff,” he said, smirking. 

“Kind of?” I asked, with mock irritation.

“Yeah, you also look kind of ridiculous,” he replied, grinning. 

I snorted.  “I’ll remember that the next time you try to lure me to your house after I’m out and I don’t have anything with me.”

“Mmm, I’d prefer you remembered the amazing sex we had when you got here instead,” he murmured, wrapping himself around me.  He was easily the most cuddly man I’d ever met in my life. 

“Are we going to have some more amazing sex right now to refresh my memory?” I asked, trailing my hands down his back.

“Um, well,” he said, shifting a little, “I’m actually really tired and kind of just want to sleep for a little bit.” 

I laughed.  “Works for me.”

I was nearly asleep when suddenly Ryan sat bolt upright.  I sat straight up as well, looking at him with concern.  “What?” I asked, slightly freaked out.

“I just forgot I’m having lunch with my mom at 1,” he said, reaching for his phone.  “What time is it?”  He was the one with the phone in his hand, so I didn’t answer.  “Okay, it’s only 9:30,” he said, clearly relieved. 

I flopped back against the pillow and let out a deep breath.  “I thought someone was dying,” I said.  “I’ve never seen someone move that fast.  Your mom must be terrifying.”

Ryan chuckled.  “My mom is great.  I just don’t like disappointing her.  And since I’m nearly 33 and not even close to being married and giving her grandchildren, I’m a big enough disappointment as it is.  No need to make it worse by missing our lunch date.”  He glanced and me and gave me a sly smile.  “Wanna come?”

“Um,” I sputtered, panicking a little.  “Well, I…”

Ryan laughed.  “Relax, Jenna.  I’m mostly kidding.  Though if you wanted to come, you certainly could.  It would probably delight my mother to know that there’s a pretty girl in my life.”

“You can just tell her.  I’m good with that,” I replied.

He snorted.  “She won’t believe me without proof.  Another time.”

I tried to get comfortable again but now I was definitely awake.  Next to me, Ryan shifted and moved too.  “I’m not tired anymore,” Ryan admitted. 

“Me neither,” I agreed. 

Ryan rolled onto his side to face me and grinned.  “Well, if neither of us are tired, I have a few ideas about what we could do until I need to get ready for lunch…”

I returned his grin and reached for him, pretty sure I had the same ideas.

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